


Persona & Devil Survivor Chat Fic Thing

by Rui_The_Galax_Angel



Category: Devil Survivor 2, Megami Ibunroku Persona, Persona 2, Persona 3, Persona 3 Portable, Persona 4, Persona 5, Persona Trinity Soul, devil survivor
Genre: F/F, F/M, I don't have an explaination for why i'm sorry, I honestly don't if this is good but i'm uploading it anyway, I know the names are random, I mostly wrote this 'cause I love these characters and I got bored, I'll add the character tags and and relationship tags as they get added to the story, M/M, and pining idiots, chat fic, everyone's an idiot basically, extremely ooc probably, it's mostly just memes and random stuff, the layout i wrote this in was messed up when i uploaded and i don't know how to change it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 09:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15860994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rui_The_Galax_Angel/pseuds/Rui_The_Galax_Angel
Summary: A really random chat fic with characters from the Persona and Devil Survivor series, 'cause I got incredibly bored. I suck at descriptions, I'm sorry.





	1. I Dunno

**Author's Note:**

> If you clicked on this, thank you for checking this out. The last fic I wrote (The only other fic I've written) was pretty angsty, so this is my first attempt at comedy. So, uuhhhhhh, yeah, I hope you enjoy this. I wrote this in a certain layout, and I hope to god AO3 doesn't mess it up...

Naoya Toudou has added Tatsuya Suou, Maya Amano, Minato Arisato, Minako Arisato, Yu Narukami, Ren Amamiya, Shin Kanzato, Kazuya Minegishi and Hibiki Kuze to the chat

Naoya has changed his nickname to NaoNya

NaoNya: Ye boi

Minato: Cursed

Tatsuya: Delete that. Right now.

NaoNya: Nyo

Yu: Well, I like his nickname...

Ren: You would

Minato has changed Yu's nickname to BowlCutBitch

BowlCutBitch: :( Why???

Minato: 'Cause I can

BowlCutBitch: But I don't even have a bowlcut tho...?

Minako has changed her nickname to KickassPrincess

KickassPrincess: You do tho

Kazuya: Burn

Minato: Have I ever mentioned how much I love my sister?

KickassPrincess has changed Minato's nickname to Minty

KickassPrincess: Love you too bro

Minty: Thank

Maya: What a wonderful sibling relationship!

BowlCutBitch: Are you just gonna ignore the fact that they're teaming up to bully me?

Shin: Yea

BowlCutBitch: Who the fuck are you?

Shin: :(

Shin has changed his nickname to DoIEvenExist

Tatsuya: Probably not

DoIEvenExist: :'(

Kazuya: You sound like you're having an existential crisis

DoIEvenExist: I am. Always.

Kazuya: Mood

Minty: Mood

KickassPrincess: Mood

Ren: Mood

Tatsuya: Mood

NaoNya: Mood

Hibiki: Mood

Maya: Are you guys okay?

NaoNya: No

Tatsuya: Never

Kazuya: Definitely not

Ren: Sudden change of topic, but I'm really jealous of Minato and Minako... I wish I had a twin...

Hibiki: I can be your twin if you want! I mean we look a lot alike!

Ren: :D

KickassPrincess: Tbh most people don't think we're twins. 9 times outta 10 they think Minato and Kazuya are the twins...

BowlCutBitch: I can see it tbh

Kazuya: Exblain

BowlCutBitch: Both have blue hair, both have blue eyes, both have emo haircuts, both always wear headphones, both have resting bitchfaces

Minty: :/

Kazuya: Rude

Maya: Oh! It's true! I can see it now!

Kazuya: Wha-?

NaoNya: H A

Minty: Fuck off Naoya, you have an earring kink

Hibiki: HE FUCKING WHAT?!

NaoNya: NO I DON'T

NaoNya: STOP SPREADING FALSE SLANDER

Minty: Nah, it's fun

Ren: Very true

Tatsuya: Ikr

NaoNya: Wow, fuck all of you

Tatsuya: No thanks, I have a boyfriend

Ren: All right, no need to gloat

KickassPrincess: Well, if you grew some balls and actually asked Yusuke out, you'd have a boyfriend

Ren: HHHHNNNGGHHH

Ren: But it's scary

Tatsuya: Look, Minako, Yu, Hibiki and I are in relationships because we actually worked up our nerve and asked them.

Minty: What about me? I'm in a relationship too

NaoNya: Yea, but your boyfriend lived inside you for ten years, you're a special case

Minty: Fair

Kazuya: I'm sorry, his boyfriend what?

KickassPrincess: Long story, don't ask

DoIEvenExist: Do we even want to know???

Hibiki: Sounds kinda kinky... :/

Minty: It's nothing like that!

Ren: Sounds fake but okay

Tatsuya: Aaaaanyway, the message to all of you is basically: stop being pussies and confess already

Tatsuya: Especially you, Maya

Maya: Me?!

Tatsuya: Yes, you

Tatsuya: You share an apartment with your crush and yet you haven't even made a single move

BowlCutBitch: What do you say to that?

Maya:

Maya: I, uh

Ren: Plead the fifth

Maya: Yes, that

DoIEvenExist: Moving on, Naoya, why did you make this chat? We already have a chat???

NaoNya: I'm aware. But that chat is for serious protagonist stuff and this one is for like... I dunno, memes and gay shit?

Ren: Story of my life tbh

Hibiki: Same

Tatsuya: Can I leave?

NaoNya: No, you're here forever

Tatsuya: Great...

NaoNya: Sooooo, can those of you who haven't given yourselves nicknames yet give yourselves nicknames and get into the memeing spirit? Pls?

Kazuya: 'Memeing spirit'?

Ren: Merry Mememas, everybody!

Ren has changed his nickname to FluffyThiefBoi

Hibiki has changed his nickname to BunnyBoi

FluffyThiefBoi: That reminds me, where did you get that bunny eared hoodie? I want one

Kazuya has changed his nickname to HeadphoneOverlord

HeadphoneOverlord: Are you gonna buy one or steal one?

FluffyThiefBoi: No comment

FluffyThiefBoi: Anyway, hoodie, want one, where do I get?

BunnyBoi: Fuck no, I ain't telling. You may be my honourary twin, but bunny hoodies are my thing

FluffyThiefBoi: But I want a thing...

BunnyBoi: You already have a thing: sexy glasses

FluffyThiefBoi: Sexy...?!

BunnyBoi: V e r y

FluffyThiefBoi: ^////////^

Minty: Get a room

BunnyBoi: I have a boyfriend, nasty

NaoNya: That's gay

BunnyBoi: You're gay

NaoNya: Shit I've been Exposed

Maya has changed her nickname to ThinkPositiveBitches

ThinkPositiveBitches: Sorry I took so long, my boss called me in for another lecture

NaoNya: Ugh

Minty: Ew

Tatsuya: I hate her so much

KickassPrincess: Ignore the bitch

HeadphoneOverlord: Kill the bitch

DoIEvenExist: Kazuya no

HeadphoneOverlord: Kazuya yes

FluffyThiefBoi: Want me to change her heart???

ThinkPositiveBitches: That's sweet of you, but it's okay, I'll deal with it. Thanks guys <3

DoIEvenExist: It okay :)

ThinkPositiveBitches: Thank you, Shin

DoIEvenExist:

FluffyThiefBoi: Dude?

DoIEvenExist:

KickassPrincess: You okay?

DoIEvenExist: sokmeone xctually refmenbrred ym namee

DoIEvenExist: Ii feell ssoo blessd

Minty: Holy shit, dude, I'm sorry for teasing, are you okay???

BowlCutBitch: I'm sorry for changing the subject but, uh, Naoya? Why can't I change my nickname? It won't let me?

NaoNya: I dunno?

NaoNya: That's weird? You should be able to?

BowlCutBitch: I can't tho?

NaoNya:

BowlCutBitch: ?

NaoNya: Minato what did you do?

Minty: Mwehehehe~

BowlCutBitch: What did you do?

Minty: >:3c

BowlCutBitch: What the hell did you do?

Minty: Plead the fifth

BowlCutBitch: What the fuck did you do?!

Minty: Hey, Tatsuya, why haven't you changed your nickname yet?

DoIEvenExist: He dodged the question...

BowlCutBitch: DON'T DODGE THE FUCKING QUESTION

Tatsuya: Can't think of anything to change my nickname to

ThinkPositiveBitches has changed Tatsuya's nickname to Vroom

Vroom: It'll do

NaoNya: Noice

Vroom: Shut up

NaoNya: Meanie >:'(

Vroom: Whatever

NaoNya has renamed the chat to Protag Meme Party

Minty: Oh god

FluffyThiefBoi: Nice

BunnyBoi: Sweet

HeadphoneOverlord: Wtf

Vroom: Kill me

ThinkPositiveBitches: Okay then!

Vroom: Wait what?

Vroom:

Vroom:

Vroom:

DoIEvenExist: Holy shit

KickassPrincess: I can't believe Tatsuya is fucking dead you guys


	2. Ren Amamiya Protection Squad

Vroom: Maya wtf

NaoNya: Oh he lives

HeadphoneOverlord: Pity

Vroom: Screw you

Vroom: Maya why did you do that?

FluffyThiefBoi: What did she do?

Vroom: W e l l

Vroom: As it turns out, when I sent that message saying 'Kill me' I was walking past the building where Maya works, and she could see me from the window

BowlCutBitch: Oh boi...

Vroom: So, she decided to grab the nearest book from her desk and fling it out the fucking window

Vroom: And the said book hit me right in the fucking head, causing me to fall over into a bush

BunnyBoi: Holy shit

Vroom: I now have a bump on my head, scratches all over my face and a skinned knee

Minty: Rip my dude

ThinkPositiveBitches sent an image

Vroom: YOU TOOK A PICTURE?!

ThinkPositiveBitches: I am a journalist, sweetheart. I see an opportunity, I take it

NaoNya: ESTHVCSFDJKYĴCURCYUJ

KickassPrincess: GET REKT

HeadphoneOverlord: W A S T E D

BunnyBoi: He is beauty he is grace

FluffyThiefBoi: Awwww, Jun looks so worried about you! That's so sweet!

BowlCutBitch: Oh, so that's your boyfriend????

Vroom: Yeah, that's Jun, he's the light of my life and I adore him wholeheartedly

NaoNya: That's... really fucking cute?????????

KickassPrincess: My,,,,,,,, heart,,,,,,

DoIEvenExist: Wait, Ren, do you know this Jun?

FluffyThiefBoi: Yeah, I love him, him and Tatsuya are like parents to me

Vroom: We'd happily adopt you if you like

FluffyThiefBoi: Please do, my parents don't love me

BunnyBoi: Whaddya mean by that?

Minty: How so?

FluffyThiefBoi: They don't care about me, they never listen to anything I say, they're never proud of anything I do

FluffyThiefBoi: I was away from home, in Tokyo, for a year on probation for a crime I didn't commit and they didn't even text me once

FluffyThiefBoi: Plus, they always argue and scream at each other and I can't stand it

HeadphoneOverlord: What assholes

BowlCutBitch: Who let them be parents???

KickassPrincess: Wtf is wrong with them?

ThinkPositiveBitches: Wait, your probation ended a few months ago, right??

ThinkPositiveBitches: I could have sworn that you mentioned that you're still living in Tokyo???

FluffyThiefBoi: Yeah, I went back home for two weeks, but I hated it there. My parents didn't care that I was there, everyone around town and school kept whispering about me behind my back, and the teachers at that school sucked

FluffyThiefBoi: I mentioned to my parents that I was honestly getting better education at Shujin, and they just said 'Go there then'

HeadphoneOverlord: W o w

BowlCutBitch: Wtf

FluffyThiefBoi: So I decided I would

NaoNya: ???

FluffyThiefBoi: I called up Sojiro and Kawakami and arranged the whole thing, so now I live with Sojiro and attend Shujin again

BunnyBoi: Omg

Minty: That's awesome

BowlCutBitch: Are you still living in the attic of Leblanc?

FluffyThiefBoi: Yeah, but I've actually got a real bed this time, plus my room always smells like coffee and curry, so that's always a bonus

KickassPrincess: N i c e

ThinkPositiveBitches: What about Shujin? How're things going on there?

FluffyThiefBoi: Great, I'm really enjoying myself! Ryuji, Ann, Mishima and I all ended up in Kawakami's class this year, so I'm surrounded by people I love

FluffyThiefBoi: Plus, Futaba, her friend Kana and Iwai's son, Kaoru are all first years so it's pure insanity whenever we all hang out

FluffyThiefBoi: I love it

Vroom: I'm glad to hear that you're having fun

FluffyThiefBoi: Thanks, honestly, Ryuji's reaction to seeing me transfer into their class made me laugh way too much

HeadphoneOverlord: I can imagine

Minty: What'd he do?

FluffyThiefBoi: Well, I may have forgotten to tell my friends that was back in Tokyo, so they had no idea I was gonna appear at Shujin

FluffyThiefBoi: Kawakami called me into the classroom to introduce myself, and Ryuji jumps up and yells 'HOLY SHIT' at the top of his voice. He was so loud that he disturbed all of the other classes on our floor and the class above us.

ThinkPositiveBitches: Omg

KickassPrincess: Pfffftttt

BowlCutBitch: Holy shit

BunnyBoi: Yep, that sounds like Ryuji

NaoNya: Wait, Hibiki, you know Ryuji???

BunnyBoi: Yeah????

BunnyBoi: So does Kazuya????

NaoNya: How???

HeadphoneOverlord: We live in Tokyo????

HeadphoneOverlord: Dumbass

Vroom: Hey guys, hate to change the subject, but Jun's been reading these messages over my shoulder and really wants to join the chat. Can he, Naoya?

NaoNya: Add him

ThinkPositiveBitches: ADD HIM!

FluffyThiefBoi: Add him add him add him!!!!!!

Vroom has added Jun Kurosu to the chat

Jun has changed his nickname to FloralStar

FloralStar: Hello everyone!

Minty: Hello

KickassPrincess: Hey!

ThinkPositiveBitches: Hi Jun!

BunnyBoi: Yo

FluffyThiefBoi: Hey Jun!!!!

BowlCutBitch: Hi

HeadphoneOverlord: 'Sup

NaoNya: Hewwo!!

Minty: Stop that

NaoNya: Nyo

Vroom: I'll shut him up myself

NaoNya: Nyo! Wen, pwease pwotect me!!!!

FluffyThiefBoi: F u c k n o

FloralStar: Make him suffer, Tacchi

BunnyBoi: Hhhhhhhholy fuck

Minty: Oh, I like him

BowlCutBitch: Btw, Jun, what are your thoughts on this adopting Ren business??

FloralStar: I'm already signing the adoption papers

FluffyThiefBoi: Father!

FloralStar: Son

ThinkPositiveBitches: How adorable!

FluffyThiefBoi: Btw, I've been meaning to ask you guys, why do all of you always check up on me and ask me how I'm doing??? None of you seem to do that to anyone else...

NaoNya: You're the baby of the group, so we all feel the need to protect you, that's why :3

FluffyThiefBoi: I'm not a baby???

Minty: Yeah, but you're the youngest, so that makes you the baby of the group

FluffyThiefBoi: I'm not even the youngest?????

FluffyThiefBoi: Shin's younger than me by 2-3 years

BowlCutBitch: Speaking of Shin, where is he?

Vroom: Yeah, he hasn't been active for a while...

DoIEvenExist: Sorry about that

HeadphoneOverlord: Holy shit, it's like you summoned him

KickassPrincess: You okay?

DoIEvenExist: Yeah, sorry about not being here, my lil brother accidentally burned his hand while making dinner, so I've been helping him treat it.

FloralStar: Oh dear, is he okay?

DoIEvenExist: Yeah, he's fine now, he's watching tv while my older brother and I finish making dinner

ThinkPositiveBitches: That's so sweet of you!

DoIEvenExist: Not really, it's what any good big brother would do

BowlCutBitch: Can confirm

FloralStar: How humble of you...

DoIEvenExist: Oh wait, I've just realised there's a new person

DoIEvenExist: Hello Jun, welcome to whatever this chat actually is

FloralStar: Thank you! It's very nice to meet you!

DoIEvenExist: It's nice to meet you too

DoIEvenExist: Also, I've just scrolled up through the chat, I agree that Ren needs to be protected

FluffyThiefBoi: WHY?! You're younger than me!!

DoIEvenExist: Yes, but you have a tendency to get into trouble, thanks to your own stupidity

Minty: Pfffftt

FluffyThiefBoi: I have never done anything wrong in my life ever

DoIEvenExist: Really? I seem to remember a time when you flung yourself into the lake in Inokashira Park

DoIEvenExist: And when asked why you flung yourself into the lake, your response was 'for the lols'

FluffyThiefBoi: I never did such a thing

BunnyBoi: Oh, that was funny

FluffyThiefBoi: No, it wasn't 'cause it never happened

HeadphoneOverlord: I still have pictures of it

FluffyThiefBoi: No you don't

HeadphoneOverlord sent an image

HeadphoneOverlord: Yes, I do

FluffyThiefBoi: F u c k

BunnyBoi: I feel like I should mention that, when he flung himself into that lake, he yelled 'YEET' at the top of his voice

NaoNya: SAGFJKYCEZWRFJKKLJYKVDTRÉFJJJJRÛE

BowlCutBitch: Omfg...

HeadphoneOverlord sent an image

HeadphoneOverlord: And here's the aftermath

Vroom: He looks like he's dying...

FluffyThiefBoi: I was dying

BunnyBoi: Seriously, that cold kept him in bed for two whole weeks

HeadphoneOverlord: He got fucked up

BowlCutBitch: How are you still alive?

FluffyThiefBoi: I honestly have no idea

DoIEvenExist: Anyway, my point has been proven: Ren needs to be protected from his own stupidity (and shitty parents)

NaoNya has changed the chat's name to Ren Amamiya Protection Squad

NaoNya: If I introduce him to Maki, I know damn well that her motherly instincts would kick in

Vroom: I've got a motorcycle. I'd happily run anyone who'd dare hurt him over.

FloralStar: While I don't think back on the experience fondly, I am the original Joker, so it's my duty to protect my successor

Minty: My boyfriend's literally death, sooooo...

KickassPrincess: I'd happily shank a bitch

ThinkPositiveBitches: My aim with my guns is pretty damn good!

HeadphoneOverlord: I'm literally the king of all demons, dealing with assholes is easy

DoIEvenExist: My older brother's a detective, I'm sure he'd happily keep an eye out for him

BowlCutBitch: Same with my uncle

BunnyBoi: Yamato thinks pretty highly of me, I'm sure if I asked him nicely, he'd lend me a JP's squad to act as Ren's bodyguards

FluffyThiefBoi: Guys wtf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ren is a very good boy and deserves all the happiness in the world, thanks for listening.


	3. Lovestruck Idiots

FluffyThiefBoi: JJJEDDRRLHOJPOIPOÎFJGDẞD

FluffyThiefBoi: GUYS HELP

FluffyThiefBoi: I'M FUCKING DYING OMG

Minty: Then die

NaoNya: Jesus, what crawled up your ass???

Minty: It's three in the fucking morning what do you expect

DoIEvenExist: You do know that you can just put your phone on silent, right?

Minty: ...

Minty: Oh fuck it, I'm awake now, what's up, Ren?

FluffyThiefBoi: Okay so I was texting Yusuke and I was just talking about how I was thinking about maybe getting a haircut or dying my hair or something y'know just something to change my look and he responded with 'No, don't, I think you're perfect the way you are'!!!!!!!!!!

FluffyThiefBoi: Perfect

FluffyThiefBoi: I

FluffyThiefBoi: Him

FluffyThiefBoi: Called

KickassPrincess: Holy shit, I think that's the fastest he's ever typed

BowlCutBitch: I think he short-circuited...

BunnyBoi: Ffs Ren, it's obvious that he likes you

HeadphoneOverlord: Just fucking confess to him already

FluffyThiefBoi: HHNNNNFHFHGHFHH NOOOO IT'S SCARY PLUS WHAT IF HE DOESN'T LIKE ME???

FluffyThiefBoi: PLUS, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE ANY ROOM TO TALK, YOU HYPOCRITE

HeadphoneOverlord: Like Hibiki said, it's obvious that he likes you

HeadphoneOverlord: Besides, joke's on you, I've actually tried

FluffyThiefBoi: Wait what

NaoNya: REALLY?!

KickassPrincess: SERIOUSLY?!

BunnyBoi: TELL US EVERYTHING

FloralStar: Details please

HeadphoneOverlord: There's not really much to say. I told Atsuro that I like him and he replied 'Oh thanks bro! I like you too! You're the best friend I could ever ask for!'

HeadphoneOverlord: Tbf, I probably should have told him that I love him not like

Vroom: Yeah, when it doesn't have anything to do with computers or coding, Atsuro's kind of dense...

HeadphoneOverlord: Yeah, but anyway, back to the original topic

HeadphoneOverlord: Ren

FluffyThiefBoi: Oh fuck

HeadphoneOverlord: Just tell him already

DoIEvenExist: I don't really know anything about love, but I agree, you should tell him

FluffyThiefBoi: I cccaaaaannnnnnn''ttttttttt

BowlCutBitch: Why not?

FluffyThiefBoi: 'Cause he's too beautiful and wonderful and I love him so much and I'm gay and terrified

NaoNya: Mood

FloralStar: I think I know a way that I can help

BunnyBoi: Oh?

FluffyThiefBoi: I don't trust that

FloralStar has added Yusuke Kitagawa to the chat

FluffyThiefBoi: ÄSDSFDZBCCCXCKGZGDÐRWFGKMJG

Minty: O H

KickassPrincess: NICE

Yusuke: Oh? What is this?

NaoNya: A group chat where we meme and be gay and all that jazz

Yusuke: I see. And why was I added?

Vroom: Ren has something to tell you

FluffyThiefBoi: NO I DON'T

BowlCutBitch: You do realize that he could just scroll up, right?

Yusuke: Ah, very well, I'll do just that

FluffyThiefBoi: NO PLEASE DON'T

Minty: Too late

FluffyThiefBoi: ASFFFNÑLJDZFZFM;GDH,BLYTD

Yusuke:

NaoNya: Ooooooooh....

Yusuke: I see

Yusuke: Ren, you could have just told me, I feel the same way

FluffyThiefBoi: WHAT?!

Vroom: I FUCKING TOLD YOU

BunnyBoi: WE'VE ALL BEEN TELLING YOU

Yusuke: Ren, I believe we should talk about this

FluffyThiefBoi: Ren can't come to the phone right now. He's too busy dying of embarrassment.

Yusuke: No matter, I was already heading over to Leblanc anyway, I should be there soon.

HeadphoneOverlord: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH

FluffyThiefBoi: WHAT WHY?!

Yusuke: I felt a sudden surge of inspiration for a new art piece and I wanted you to accompany me.

KickassPrincess: Awwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

DoIEvenExist: What a lovely first date

Minty: At three in the fucking morning??

Yusuke: Yes.

Yusuke: Ren, I'm here, please open the the door.

FluffyThiefBoi: MORGANA WAIT NO GET BACK HERE NO LISTEN TO ME YOU SHIT FOR FUCK CAT PLEASE DON'T GO COME BACK FUCK

DoIEvenExist: Something tells me that message was speech to text...

Yusuke: Ah, Morgana unlocked the door for me.

DoIEvenExist: Y u p

Yusuke: Ren and I will be offline for a while as we have things we need to discuss.

HeadphoneOverlord: Have fun~~~

NaoNya: Use protection!

Vroom: Don't be so gross

NaoNya: :P

BunnyBoi: Welp, I guess we've gotta keep ourselves entertained until they get back

DoIEvenExist: Btw, where's Maya? We've been talking for about half an hour now and she hasn't sent a single message...

Vroom: Well, it's half three in the morning and she's a functioning adult, so my guess is sleeping.

ThinkPositiveBitches: While I am an adult, it's bold of you to assume that I'm functioning

FloralStar: So, you weren't sleeping?

ThinkPositiveBitches: No

BowlCutBitch: Then what were you doing???

ThinkPositiveBitches: I was fuckin uhhhhhhhhhh,,,,,, Playing Pokemon

Vroom: ....Seriously?

ThinkPositiveBitches: Yea

FloralStar: At half three in the morning?

ThinkPositiveBitches: Yea

NaoNya: Which generation are you playing??

ThinkPositiveBitches: I found my old copy of Pearl while cleaning up

Minty: N i c e

BunnyBoi: I'm still waiting on a Sinnoh remake tbh

NaoNya: Same

BowlCutBitch: Same

HeadphoneOverlord: Same

BunnyBoi: Same

KickassPrincess: Same

DoIEvenExist: Which starter did you choose?

ThinkPositiveBitches: Piplup

BunnyBoi: I LOVE PIPLUP!! IT'S SO CUTE!

KickassPrincess: I really like Chimchar!

Vroom: Same, it's adorable and badass, like someone I know <3

FloralStar: Tacchi~ <3

NaoNya: H a, gay

DoIEvenExist: My personal favourite's Turtwig

HeadphoneOverlord: Turtwig sucks ass

BowlCutBitch: How fucking dare you

NaoNya: SQUARE UP M8

HeadphoneOverlord: FIGHT ME BITCH

Yusuke sent an image

Yusuke: So, it seems we are now in a relationship.

KickassPrincess: Awwwwwww!!!!!

BowlCutBitch: Congrats!

BunnyBoi: Holy shit, look at Ren's face, I didn't know that people could go that red

HeadphoneOverlord: If I'm being honest, I was more focused on Ren's cat in the background... He looks kinda disgusted...

Vroom: While I am happy for you, I will not hesitate to break your knees if you hurt my son

Yusuke: Why on earth would I hurt him? And I didn't know that you and Jun were Ren's parents?

FloralStar: We're not his parents yet... Legally

Yusuke: ???

DoIEvenExist: Where's Ren? I'm kinda surprised that he's not keysmashing at us right now

Yusuke: I think all of the panicking he did earlier caught up to once we finished talking and he fell asleep.

Minty:

Minty: Are you fucking kidding me?

Minty: He's the one who woke us up at three in the fucking morning

Minty: AND HE'S THE ONE WHO FALLS ASLEEP?!

HeadphoneOverlord: Calm down, Minato

Minty: Shut your fuck

BowlCutBitch: W o w

NaoNya: Hey Yusuke, are you gonna stay in this chat?

Yusuke: I might as well, I suppose.

NaoNya: Good, 'cause I wasn't gonna let you leave

Yusuke: Fair enough

NaoNya: Glad to see that you understand ^_^

Yusuke: Well, if I'm gonna stay, I might as well fit in.

Yusuke has changed his nickname to ArtIsSuffering

BunnyBoi: Is it?

ArtIsSuffering: Why do you thinking it's called Painting

BunnyBoi: Fair enough

ThinkPositiveBitches: Any examples of how being an artist is suffering?

ArtIsSuffering: You get struck with inspiration at three in the morning and can't recreate it if you don't act straight away.

ThinkPositiveBitches: Fair enough

ArtIsSuffering: Oh, I've just noticed the name of the chat.

ArtIsSuffering: I like it.

NaoNya: Are you willing to protect Ren??? >:3c

ArtIsSuffering: I would happily give my life if it meant that Ren could remain safe and happy.

KickassPrincess:

DoIEvenExist:

HeadphoneOverlord:

BunnyBoi:

BowlCutBitch: Wow

NaoNya: Holy shit

FloralStar: Tatsuya, our son found a good one.

Vroom: ...Agreed

Minty: Please, for the love of god, let me sleep

NaoNya: No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, that conversation about the 4th Gen starters is a conversation I've actually had with my friends. Turtwig's awesome, you cannot convince me otherwise.


	4. My Boyfriend's Cuter Than Yours

KickassPrincess: Hey Naoya, can I ask you question?

NaoNya: Shoot

KickassPrincess: I can't, my evoker's broken

NaoNya: Don't be a smartass

HeadphoneOverlord: How the fuck did you break your evoker???

KickassPrincess: Junpei accidentally sat on it

BowlCutBitch: ...Seriously?

Minty: Yeah, and he's been complaining about how much his ass hurts since.

NaoNya: Minako, just ask your damn question

Vroom: Wow, what twisted your panties?

NaoNya: Fuck off

ThinkPositiveBitches: Well, I heard that apparently Masao tricked him into eating one of those ghost pepper things, and it made his eyes and nose stream and his skin red and blotchy, and apparently all of this happened in front of a certain Uesugi

FloralStar: Ah, I see

NaoNya: WTF HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!

ThinkPositiveBitches: I am journalist, y'know. Gathering information is my job.

ThinkPositiveBitches: Plus, Yukino told me

NaoNya: Goddammit...

NaoNya: Minako, ask your question before I go and sulk in a corner.

KickassPrincess: Okay, so I wondering, since, y'know, Tatsuya and Ren have their boyfriends in the chat

FluffyThiefBoi: Oh c'mon, Yusuke and I have only been dating for a couple of days...

ArtIsSuffering: And they've been the best days of my life.

FluffyThiefBoi: ASDGLKLSGD,FDILÛIGGGDKJ

BunnyBoi: Holy shit, that is adorable

HeadphoneOverlord: I refuse to believe that someone as pure as him can possibly exist, 'cause wtf, that was really sweet????

KickassPrincess: A n y w a y

KickassPrincess: Since those two have their boyfriends in the chat, can the rest of us in relationships add our boyfriends to the chat??

BunnyBoi: Ooh, I like that idea!

Minty: Nice one, sis

BowlCutBitch: Oh, please!

NaoNya: And why the hell should I let you do that?

KickassPrincess: I'll help you hook up with Hidehiko

NaoNya: Deal.

BunnyBoi: YES!!!

BunnyBoi has added Daichi Shijima to the chat

BunnyBoi: WELCOME TO THE MEMERY, MY LOVE!

Daichi: Wtf is this?

FluffyThiefBoi: The memery, apparently

Daichi: Oh, hey Fluffles!

DoIEvenExist: FLUFFLES WARJDKHFFZGDF

ThinkPositiveBitches: OMG THAT'S ADORABLE

FluffyThiefBoi: STOP CALLING ME THAT GODDAMMIT

HeadphoneOverlord: Why do you call him 'fluffles'?

Daichi: 'Cause his hair's ridiculously fluffy and he acts like a cat

FluffyThiefBoi: While I will admit that my hair is a fluffy mess, I do NOT act like a cat

Daichi: I remember you purring once when I ruffled your hair

ArtIsSuffering: And I recall making the 'mrrrp' sound when you woke up from a nap.

BowlCutBitch: PLEASE TELL ME YOU GOT THAT ON VIDEO

ArtIsSuffering: I'll try and record the next time he takes a nap

BowlCutBitch: THANK YOU

FluffyThiefBoi: Wtf...

Minty has added Ryoji Mochizuki

Ryoji: Hello!

Ryoji: I dunno what this is, but I'm happy to be here!

Minty: Isn't he wonderful?

HeadphoneOverlord: Stop being so gay

Minty: No, never

Daichi has changed his nickname to IWantToDieChi

BunnyBoi: NO

Ryoji has changed his nickname to DevotedDeath

DevotedDeath: I can help you with that

BunnyBoi: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE

IWantToDieChi: PM me later

BunnyBoi: Okay, Daichi we are going on a walk later, and you will tell me what is bothering you

IWantToDieChi: Mmmmmmm -3-

BunnyBoi: O k a y ?

IWantToDieChi: Fine. But only if you let me buy you a good meal for being a wonderful boyfriend.

BunnyBoi: Deal! <3

NaoNya: Fuck me, that's cute

Vroom: No, thanks

NaoNya: No, not you

NaoNya: I'd rather Hidehiko do that, thank you very much

HeadphoneOverlord: Btw, Ryoji, Minato mentioned something about you being inside him for ten years??? Care to explain that for us???

DevotedDeath: I was sealed inside of him by a combat robot after his parents died in a car crash

FluffyThiefBoi:

BowlCutBitch: Um...

Vroom: W h a t?

ThinkPositiveBitches: I don't get it...

BunnyBoi: I'm even more confused now...

HeadphoneOverlord: I'm sorry I asked...

KickassPrincess: I told you it was better not to ask

DoIEvenExist: Btw, regarding your nickname, what exactly are you devoted to???

DevotedDeath: Minato, my reason for living

ThinkPositiveBitches: Why are all of these couples so freaking adorable????

ArtIsSuffering: That is rather cute

BowlCutBitch has added Yosuke Hanamura to the chat

Yosuke: Why is that your nickname?

BowlCutBitch: Minato changed it, did something to make it impossible for me to change it and now he won't tell us what he did.

Yosuke: Lmao

BowlCutBitch: Wtf, I thought you loved me

Yosuke: Look, I had to spend the entire Summer watching my boyfriend chatting with a fox, I think I'm allowed to laugh at him being harassed by a tiny blue haired emo twink

Yosuke: I'm just sayin'

BowlCutBitch: That was a sweet fox who wanted to help the local shrine, I've told you this so many times!! Why do you betray me like this?

Yosuke: With all due respect, sweetheart, I'm 95% sure that you were high for the entirety of the time you spent with that fox

Minty: Oh, I like this guy

DevotedDeath: Ahem

Minty: Don't worry, baby, you'll always be my number one

DevotedDeath: Good <3

BowlCutBitch: @Yosuke That could be us but you keep laughing at my misery

Yosuke: Oh c'mon, you know you love me

BowlCutBitch:

Yosuke: C'mon Partner~

BowlCutBitch: Hmm

FluffyThiefBoi: Ooh, bringing out the pet name

Yosuke: Y'know, I've actually just bought you present...

BowlCutBitch: Hm...?

Yosuke: A cat patterned phone case

BowlCutBitch: !!!!!

HeadphoneOverlord: Damn, straight for the weakness

BowlCutBitch: You know me so well...

Yosuke: Anything for you, sweetie

BowlCutBitch: @Minty, try stealing my boyfriend now, bitch

Minty: Go suck a dick

NaoNya: Minato please, there are children present

FluffyThiefBoi: So, Minato telling Yu to suck a dick is a no-go, but you telling us that you're waiting for Hidehiko to fuck you is completely fine, is it?

NaoNya: ...

NaoNya: You're getting awfully sassy, young man

IWantToDieChi: Please don't say things like that, Fluffles... You're too pure for shit like that...

FluffyThiefBoi: CAN ALL OF YOU PLEASE STOP TREATING ME LIKE A CHILD?!

FluffyThiefBoi: Except Tatsuya and Jun, please let me be your son

BunnyBoi: That sounds kinda kinky... :/

IWantToDieChi: Hibiki no, bad Hibiki

Vroom: Do you want to die?

BunnyBoi:

BunnyBoi: No sir, sorry sir.

Vroom: G o o d

Yosuke has changed his nickname to DiscoNinjaFrog

FloralStar: ????

BowlCutBitch: Chie got pissed off at him one day and that's what she called Jiraiya

DiscoNinjaFrog: Joke's on her, she meant it as an insult but I love it

Vroom: Who's Jiraiya?

DiscoNinjaFrog: My persona

ThinkPositiveBitches: Sounds like a goofy-looking persona

ThinkPositiveBitches: I love it

DiscoNinjaFrog: T h a n k

KickassPrincess has added Akihiko Sanada to the chat

KickassPrincess has changed Akihiko's nickname to DidjaSeeThatShinji

DidjaSeeThatShinji: I don't even say it that often...

DevotedDeath: Sounds fake but okay

Minty: Shinjiro would beg to differ

KickassPrincess: Why the fuck you lying, sweetheart?

HeadphoneOverlord: Oooh, a triple burn, those are rare

DiscoNinjaFrog: Rekt

IWantToDieChi: Rekt

DidjaSeeThatShinji: What a warm welcome...

ArtIsSuffering: Well, you were burned

DidjaSeeThatShinji:

DidjaSeeThatShinji: Okay, I walked into that one...

DoIEvenExist: Sorry to interrupt, but I've just had a random thought

Vroom: Oh?

ThinkPositiveBitches: Please share with the group

DoIEvenExist: Is it just me, or does Daichi look like a mix of Yosuke and Ryoji?

IWantToDieChi: I'm sorry, what?

DiscoNinjaFrog: Wha?

DevotedDeath: Huh?

FloralStar: Have you three ever met or even seen each other?

IWantToDieChi: Nope

DiscoNinjaFrog: Not yet

DevotedDeath: No, we haven't

ArtIsSuffering: Why don't you each take a selfie and post it in the chat?

DevotedDeath: All right, then

DevotedDeath sent an image

Minty: Isn't he gorgeous?

DevotedDeath: Thx babe

DiscoNinjaFrog sent an image

BowlCutBitch: Look, an angel

DiscoNinjaFrog: uklkfjshlklegiuthfg

NaoNya: C'mon then, Daichi, let's see if Shin's right

IWantToDieChi: I'm slightly terrified...

IWantToDieChi sent an image

NaoNya: Omg

FluffyThiefBoi: Holy shit

HeadphoneOverlord: Wtf

DevotedDeath: Nice scarf

Vroom: Damn, Shin's right

DoIEvenExist: Oh good, it's not just me

NaoNya: He looks like Ryoji and Yosuke's love child

DiscoNinjaFrog: FUCKING WHAT

DevotedDeath: eXCUSE ME??????

IWantToDieChi:

FloralStar: Daichi?

IWantToDieChi: 

BunnyBoi: You okay, baby?

IWantToDieChi: Thanks for the identity crisis, assholes

IWantToDieChi has gone offline

DidjaSeeThatShinji: I think you broke him

NaoNya: What on earth gave you that idea? :3c

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know what to say.....
> 
>  
> 
> Yeet.


	5. Operation: Gay Get-Together

NaoNya: Hey Daichi, have you recovered from your identity crisis yet?

IWantToDieChi: No

Vroom: Are you ever gonna recover?

IWantToDieChi: No

Minty: Fair

IWantToDieChi: I'm holding Naoya and Shin entirely responsible for that

FloralStar: Sounds reasonable

NaoNya: I would argue, but yeah, that's fair enough

BowlCutBitch: Where's Shin?

FluffyThiefBoi: He texted me earlier, him and his friends are taking his lil brother to a theme part, so he's probably not gonna be online today.

FluffyThiefBoi: Or, at least, not until later

KickassPrincess: Awwwww

HeadphoneOverlord: Pity

IWantToDieChi: Good

BunnyBoi: fsaghllkßkgkkŷhgd

DiscoNinjaFrog: RUTHLESS

ArtIsSuffering: On a different note, why did Shin only text you?

FluffyThiefBoi: Oh, the two of us have been talking quite a lot lately

ArtIsSuffering: Is that so?

DevotedDeath: Oooh, I'm detecting a hint of jealously!

Minty: Like you're one to talk, you glared daggers at Kenji when he put his arm round my shoulder once, scared him shitless and pouted about it for a few days after

DevotedDeath: .

Minty: Tbf, Kenji's stopped bugging me so much since then... So, I suppose that's a positive??

DevotedDeath: :)

FluffyThiefBoi: Yusuke, I can assure you it's nothing like that

ArtIsSuffering: I'm not jealous.

FluffyThiefBoi: I know, but I feel like I need to explain

FluffyThiefBoi: We started speaking a lot more recently 'cause I met his older brother, who happens to be part of the team investigating Shido and his crimes, so we've been trying to arrange a meet-up

FluffyThiefBoi: So, there you go. Hate to disappoint all of you, but there's no relationship drama going on here, you rumor loving fucks

BunnyBoi: Boo

NaoNya: Boring

HeadphoneOverlord: What a let-down...

FluffyThiefBoi: Fuck off

Vroom: I can assure you, after the shit I went through, I do NOT love rumors

FloralStar: ^^^

ThinkPositiveBitches: But, we can still get some gossip!

Minty: We can?

ThinkPositiveBitches: Shin's never told us anything about his family, so what's his brother like????

BowlCutBitch: Oh, that's true

DiscoNinjaFrog: Tell us tell us tell us!

FluffyThiefBoi: His name is Ryou, he has black wavy hair, he wears glasses, he's a detective, he's quite stoic and has trouble expressing his emotions and he is extremely protective of his brothers and girlfriend.

FluffyThiefBoi: There, happy now?

HeadphoneOverlord: Yea

BunnyBoi: Yep

NaoNya: Very

ThinkPositiveBitches: I got some juicy info, so yes, I'm very happy! ^_^

IWantToDieChi: Wait. I swear I heard that they had a sister???

FluffyThiefBoi: Their family's past is kinda complicated and it's a bit of a touchy subject for them, so it's best if you don't ask them about it

NaoNya: ???

ArtIsSuffering: I see

Minty: Okay then?

HeadphoneOverlord: Now I'm kinda curious...

FluffyThiefBoi: Do. NOT. Ask.

DiscoNinjaFrog: Yeah, let's not pry into their private life

HeadphoneOverlord: Don't worry, I'm not going to, I'm just curious

FluffyThiefBoi: Good

KickassPrincess: Changing the subject before Ren murders someone

KickassPrincess: I'd like to call a meeting to discuss our strategy

DiscoNinjaFrog: Strategy?

DidjaSeeThatShinji: For what?

KickassPrincess: I promised to try and help Naoya to get with Hidehiko

KickassPrincess: And while we're at it, we might as well help Kazuya get with Atsuro and Maya get with Ulala too

NaoNya: Oh crap, I forgot about that

HeadphoneOverlord: What?

ThinkPositiveBitches: WHAT?

BunnyBoi: 'We'?

BunnyBoi: Why are suddenly a part of your promise??

KickassPrincess: 'Cause I said so, and it's not very wise to oppose me

Minty: As her brother, I'm telling you it's easier and less painful to just roll with it

DevotedDeath: Well, it sounds like fun, so I'm in :)

Vroom: If it means I won't have to listen to Maya pining, I'm game

ThinkPositiveBitches: I don't pine that much...

FloralStar: You do, Maya, you really, really do

ThinkPositiveBitches: ..

DidjaSeeThatShinji: I don't think I'd be very helpful in this

BowlCutBitch: How do you mean?

DidjaSeeThatShinji: Minako figured out that I was in love with her before I figured it out myself

KickassPrincess: Y u p

BowlCutBitch: Huh, sounds kinda like Yosuke

DiscoNinjaFrog: Excuse me, bitch????

BunnyBoi: Sounds like Daichi too tbh

IWantToDieChi: How the hell was I supposed to know what love feels like? I thought it was just friendship...

NaoNya: That's honestly the most relatable thing I've ever heard

Vroom: Same

FloralStar: ^^^

ThinkPositiveBitches: ^^^

BowlCutBitch: ^^^

DiscoNinjaFrog: Same

FluffyThiefBoi: @KickassPrincess the way you worded it made it sound like a secret mission, so what's the name of this operation?

KickassPrincess: Operation: Gay Get-Together

NaoNya: Beautiful

ArtIsSuffering: How fitting

HeadphoneOverlord: I love it

ThinkPositiveBitches: 10/10

BowlCutBitch: Stunning

BunnyBoi: Sooooo, how are we gonna make said gays get together????

KickassPrincess: That is what I called this meeting for

Minty: Translation - "I have no idea"

KickassPrincess: -3-

HeadphoneOverlord: Yeah, I'm sorry, but when did I ask for help with Atsuro????

BunnyBoi: It's not like you'd be able to do it yourself

NaoNya: Yeah, Atsuro's too much of an idiot to realise that he's being confessed to

HeadphoneOverlord: HEY! ATSURO MAY BE AN IDIOT, BUT HE'S MY IDIOT, SO SHUT UP

KickassPrincess: Omfg...

KickassPrincess: I'm starting to wonder if these guys are beyond saving...

NaoNya: But, we haven't even done anything yet?

KickassPrincess: Exactly

Minty: Ha

HeadphoneOverlord: Shut

FluffyThiefBoi: A h e m

FluffyThiefBoi: As the leader of the Phantom Thieves, I often have to come up with plans.

KickassPrincess: Oh thank god, someone who knows what they're doing

FluffyThiefBoi: Well, I don't exactly know what to do, I know a way to start.

ArtIsSuffering: As expected of you, Joker.

FloralStar: Hnnnnhhhhh

Vroom: Could you not say that word in front of Jun, please?

ArtIsSuffering: What? 'J***r'?

Vroom: Yeah, it brings back bad memories for him.

ArtIsSuffering: Very well, I will refrain from using Ren's codename.

FloralStar: Thank you very much

FloralStar: Ren, please continue

FluffyThiefBoi: Well, I think it'd probably be best if we all split up into different groups, to help each couple.

Minty: S m a r t

BowlCutBitch: Why did none of us think of that?

NaoNya: 'Cause we're all fucking idiots?

BunnyBoi: Yeah, that sounds about right

IWantToDieChi: So, how do we split up?

FluffyThiefBoi:

DiscoNinjaFrog: Ren?

FluffyThiefBoi: Gimme a minute

FluffyThiefBoi: I'm thinking

DevotedDeath: Is it just me, or does Ren seem like a different person when he's actually serious about something?

Vroom: Yeah, but I don't get why he's being serious about this...

FluffyThiefBoi: Okay, I think that Hibiki, Daichi, Yusuke and myself should help Kazuya and Atsuro, since we all live in Tokyo

FluffyThiefBoi: Tatsuya and Jun will help Maya and Ulala, since they're already aquainted

FluffyThiefBoi: And, if I'm remembering correctly, Naoya, aren't you and your school friends staying at the Amagi inn atm???

NaoNya: Yeah, we are, we decided to go on a roadtrip, and we're gonna be in Inaba for about a week

FluffyThiefBoi: Well then, Yu and Yosuke can help out Naoya and Hidehiko then.

FluffyThiefBoi: But, having one team of four and two teams of two isn't the best idea, so Minato and Ryoji join Yu and Yosuke, and Minako join Tatsuya and Jun

FluffyThiefBoi: And Akihiko, I know you said that you didn't exactly want to help with this, but could you join Minako's group? That way, each team has four people, plus you'd be more likely to come with a believable alibi.

DidjaSeeThatShinji: Okay, that sounds like a good plan.

NaoNya: Holy shit, you're good at this

FluffyThiefBoi: Yeah, well, when you're constantly narrowly avoiding the police and get stuck in life or death situations, you kinda develop a talent for it.

ArtIsSuffering: ^^^

DiscoNinjaFrog: F a i r

KickassPrincess: While I am kinda pissed that my role as leader has been taken, I have to ask, what exactly will the groups be doing?

FluffyThiefBoi: What I would suggest is, each of the lovestruck morons asks their crush to meet them in a place, maybe a park, shopping centre, whatever, as long as it's public, and the groups will follow them around and try to create opportunities for confessions and other romantic shit

Minty: Sounds good

DevotedDeath: Sounds fun!

FluffyThiefBoi: Also, I think it would be best if each group had a leader, y'know, to keep everything in check and come up with back-up plans in case everything goes to shit.

ThinkPositiveBitches: That doesn't exactly comfort me...

NaoNya: Yeah... Knowing everything could go wrong isn't exactly reassuring...

FluffyThiefBoi: Tough shit, you guys are the ones who can't confess by themselves

Minty: Yeah, it's your fault we're doing this

BowlCutBitch: It's your own fault, guys

FloralStar: Y e p

ThinkPositiveBitches: ...

NaoNya: :(

HeadphoneOverlord: Dammit...

KickassPrincess: Well then, guys, pick out the group leaders

IWantToDieChi: I think Ren should be the leader of our group, I mean, he's already thought up all this stuff

ArtIsSuffering: Yes, I agree that's a wise decision

BunnyBoi: Yeah, it's probably for the best

FluffyThiefBoi: Okie dokie

FloralStar: Tacchan tends to stay calm in any kind of situation, so I think he should be leader

KickassPrincess: That seems fair enough, I tend to get a bit excited in situations like these...

DidjaSeeThatShinji: If Minako's okay with it, I might as well go along with it

Vroom: Fine.

Minty: Well, Ryoji and I aren't too familiar with the layout of Inaba, so one of you two should be the leader

DevotedDeath: ^^^

DiscoNinjaFrog: Uhhhhhh, yeah, I don't think I'd be a very good leader... You do it, Partner

BowlCutBitch: Okay, then.

NaoNya: Okayyyyy....

NaoNya: Sooo.....

NaoNya: Now what?

HeadphoneOverlord: Yeah, you've chosen the leaders, but what exactly are we gonna do?

FluffyThiefBoi: W e l l

FluffyThiefBoi: Now, you three need to ask your crushes to go out somewhere with you

NaoNya: WHAT?

ThinkPositiveBitches: WHAT?

HeadphoneOverlord: WHAT?

DidjaSeeThatShinji: I'm pretty sure he didn't mean on a date...

IWantToDieChi: Yeah, he probably meant just hanging out as friends

FluffyThiefBoi: That's exactly what I meant, and then the helper groups will change it from friendship to romantic, understand?

NaoNya: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HeadphoneOverlord: Where the fuck are we supoosed to meet up?!

FluffyThiefBoi: Kazuya, you invite Atsuro to Inokashira Park. Now.

HeadphoneOverlord: hfeßkkkj

HeadphoneOverlord: Fine...

BowlCutBitch: Naoya, you invite Hidehiko to the shopping district, okay? There's plenty of places for us to hide there

NaoNya: Alright, I guess...

Vroom: Maya, meet up with Ulala in Yumezaki, you two always meet up around there, she won't suspect anything

ThinkPositiveBitches: Okay...

NaoNya:

HeadphoneOverlord:

ThinkPositiveBitches:

FluffyThiefBoi: Have you all sent your messages?

NaoNya: Yes

ThinkPositiveBitches: Yes

HeadphoneOverlord: Yes

BowlCutBitch: Have they agreed to meet up?

NaoNya: Yes

ThinkPositiveBitches: Yes

HeadphoneOverlord: Yes

Minty: Are you all ready to go?

NaoNya: No

ThinkPositiveBitches: No

HeadphoneOverlord: No

FloralStar: Great! Then let's get going!

KickassPrincess: Operation.... START!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The actual operation stuff is gonna be split into three chapters, one for each group, so I hope you look forward to that!
> 
> Although, I wonder if the operation will actually go according to plan, or just fail miserably... Oh well, who cares?


	6. Operation Start: KazuAtsu Division

Ren Amamiya has added Yusuke Kitagawa, Hibiki Kuze and Daichi Shijima to the chat

Ren has renamed the chat name to Matchmaking Morons

Ren has changed his nickname to FluffyThiefBoi

Ren has changed Yusuke's nickname to StarvingArtBoi

Ren has changed Hibiki's nickname to DemonPhoneBoi

Ren has changed Daichi's nickname to PreciousScarfBoi

FluffyThiefBoi: Alright fuckers, let's get this started

FluffyThiefBoi: Is everyone in position?

StarvingArtBoi: I'm positioned near the park entrance

DemonPhoneBoi: Daichi and I are on one of the rental boats

PreciousScarfBoi: Is there any sign of them yet?

StarvingArtBoi: They entered the park a short while ago, I've been shadowing them ever since

FluffyThiefBoi: Oh! I see them! They're walking past me now

PreciousScarfBoi: Wait... Ren, is that you I see perched in a tree?????

FluffyThiefBoi: Yes, it is, is there a problem with that?

PreciousScarfBoi: Um????

DemonPhoneBoi: You blend in surprisingly well

FluffyThiefBoi: Thank

FluffyThiefBoi: Yusuke, you keep a safe distance away from Kazuya and Atsuro, I'm gonna get a little closer so I can hear what they're saying, but stay close enough to me that we can act quickly if things go wrong

StarvingArtBoi: Understood

DemonPhoneBoi: Why are we on a boat again?

StarvingArtBoi: So you could keep an eye on them when they're near the lake

FluffyThiefBoi: Plus, it'll avoid making Atsuro suspicious since the two of you look like you're on a date

DemonPhoneBoi: Well... I suppose that's true

PreciousScarfBoi: We might as well enjoy ourselves while we're here ^_^

FluffyThiefBoi: That's fine, just make sure you keep an eye on the two idiots

DemonPhoneBoi: Will do

StarvingArtBoi: Damn, I lost them

FluffyThiefBoi: Where are you??

StarvingArtBoi: By the large tree on the east side of the lake

FluffyThiefBoi: Oh, I see you

FluffyThiefBoi: Look forward and to your right

StarvingArtBoi: Ah, there you are

FluffyThiefBoi: Come over here, we might as well stick together

StarvingArtBoi: Very well

PreciousScarfBoi: I'm honestly kinda scared about this

DemonPhoneBoi: Why? What's up?

PreciousScarfBoi: Well, be fair, when has there ever been anything that has involved us, that has actually gone well?

DemonPhoneBoi:

DemonPhoneBoi: Good point

FluffyThiefBoi: Get that negativity shit outta here

StarvingArtBoi: Yes, I would rather consider our chances of success instead of failure

PreciousScarfBoi: Yeah, that's probably the best idea

FluffyThiefBoi: But, goddamn, Kazuya sucks at this

DemonPhoneBoi: How so?

FluffyThiefBoi: I told him to try flirting with Atsuro

FluffyThiefBoi: He told him that his hair looks good today

PreciousScarfBoi: How's that bad? That's a normal compliment

FluffyThiefBoi: He's wearing a beanie, Daichi

FluffyThiefBoi: You can't see his fucking hair

PreciousScarfBoi: ...Oh

StarvingArtBoi: Atsuro looked rather confused too, he just glanced up at his hat, and awkwardly smiled, thanked Kazuya and told him his hair looked nice too

DemonPhoneBoi: Okay, well, it could have gone a lot worse

FluffyThiefBoi: Yeah, Kazuya was lucky that Atsuro's so nice

PreciousScarfBoi: Where are they now?

StarvingArtBoi: They're buying ice cream

DemonPhoneBoi: Oh, I see them, they're sitting on the fence up there

PreciousScarfBoi: Hibiki, could you please be a bit more careful when moving around? The boat's rocking a bit too much for my liking

FluffyThiefBoi: Why didn't you just tell him that?

PreciousScarfBoi: I did

DemonPhoneBoi: We're using voice to text

FluffyThiefBoi: Oh okay

FluffyThiefBoi: Yusuke, you've been staring at the ice cream stand for a quite a while now, do you want an ice cream?

StarvingArtBoi:

FluffyThiefBoi: I'll buy you one once we're finished with this

StarvingArtBoi:

StarvingArtBoi: Thank you

PreciousScarfBoi: Wait, are they- Oh shit

FluffyThiefBoi: What's up?

PreciousScarfBoi: Hibiki shit Hibiki Hibiki look they're looking at us they're fucking looking at us do think Atsuro realises it's oh fuck he's waving he knows what do we do

StarvingArtBoi: Oh dear...

DemonPhoneBoi: Just wave back, he'll get suspicious otherwise

PreciousScarfBoi: ASDFFG

FluffyThiefBoi: ??? Is everything okay???

PreciousScarfBoi: Yeah, I started waving back and Hibiki just suddenly kissed me on the cheek

DemonPhoneBoi: It was to make him think that we're here on a date, and he's looking away now so he clearly bought it

StarvingArtBoi: Ren, they're on the move, should we follow?

FluffyThiefBoi: Yeah, just stick close to the trees and bushes, but not enough to make us look like creepers to other people

StarvingArtBoi: Right

DemonPhoneBoi: What are they doing?

StarvingArtBoi: Eating ice cream and talking about a programme that Atsuro is currently writing code for

StarvingArtBoi: I feel Atsuro would get along well with Futaba, have they met?

FluffyThiefBoi: No, but Yusuke, stay focused

StarvingArtBoi: Sorry

FluffyThiefBoi: It's okay, I'm just getting pissed off 'cause of Kazuya

PreciousScarfBoi: What did he do?

FluffyThiefBoi: Nothing, and that's the problem!

FluffyThiefBoi: He hasn't made a single fucking move at all!!!

StarvingArtBoi: I think he's looking at you

FluffyThiefBoi: Kazuya do something, put your arm round him, throw him a pick-up line, just anything, do it, you fool, you buffoon, you absolute imbecile

FluffyThiefBoi: Don't flip me off, you fucking prick

DemonPhoneBoi: Voice to text?

StarvingArtBoi: Yes, both Ren and Kazuya don't seem to be in good moods...

FluffyThiefBoi: WELL, MAYBE I WOULDN'T BE SO PISSY IF HE JUST FUCKING DID SOMETHING

StarvingArtBoi: Ren, while I wholeheartedly adore you, you have no room to talk

FluffyThiefBoi:

FluffyThiefBoi: Don't derail my rant with facts

FluffyThiefBoi: P l e a s e

PreciousScarfBoi: Ooh! He's putting his arm around him!

FluffyThiefBoi: REALLY?!

DemonPhoneBoi: Oh. No. He chickened out.

FluffyThiefBoi: Goddammit...

FluffyThiefBoi: I've had enough of this shit

FluffyThiefBoi: I'm taking matters into my own hands

StarvingArtBoi: Ren, what are you-

PreciousScarfBoi: I don't like the sound of that...

StarvingArtBoi: REN OH MY GOD WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!

DemonPhoneBoi: Did I just hear Ren yell 'yeet'???

PreciousScarfBoi: What happened??? I just saw Kazuya and Atsuro go flying forward and collapse????

FluffyThiefBoi: I'm leaving now goodbye

FluffyThiefBoi: Fill me on what happens later

DemonPhoneBoi: Wtf just happened?

PreciousScarfBoi: What did Ren just do?

StarvingArtBoi: He was getting frustrated with Kazuya and then noticed a football in the bush we were hiding behind

StarvingArtBoi: So, he decided to just throw it at Kazuya

DemonPhoneBoi: Omg...

StarvingArtBoi: It hit Kazuya in the back of the head and caused him to fall over onto Atsuro

StarvingArtBoi: Ren, I love you, but what the fuck?

DemonPhoneBoi: He said a swear...

PreciousScarfBoi: Are they okay?

StarvingArtBoi: Hang on, I'll go check

StarvingArtBoi: Oh

StarvingArtBoi: O h

DemonPhoneBoi: What?

StarvingArtBoi: It seems they accidentally kissed

PreciousScarfBoi: REALLY?!

DemonPhoneBoi: HOLY SHIT

FluffyThiefBoi: >:D

StarvingArtBoi: Okay, Kazuya has helped Atsuro up, and they're both standing there apologising to each other and blushing vibrant shades of red

DemonPhoneBoi: Hang on, Daichi and I are getting off the boat now, we'll head right over.

PreciousScarfBoi: We can see them from here, I have never seen Kazuya so red before...

StarvingArtBoi: Oh?

DemonPhoneBoi: Why's he grabbing his shoulders?

PreciousScarfBoi: Wait- Oh wow

PreciousScarfBoi: I never knew Kazuya could be so loud

FluffyThiefBoi: What's going on? I've been running for a quite a while, so I didn't hear anything, what happened?

DemonPhoneBoi: Kazuya just yelled out that he loves Atsuro and pulled him into a hug

FluffyThiefBoi: WHAT DID ATSURO SAY???????

PreciousScarfBoi: Hang on...

PreciousScarfBoi: HE SAID YES

DemonPhoneBoi: THEY'RE DATING NOW

DemonPhoneBoi: THEY'RE HUGGING EACH OTHER REALLY TIGHTLY

PreciousScarfBoi: THAT'S SO ADORABLE OMG

FluffyThiefBoi: YES!!! MISSION SUCCESS!!!!!

StarvingArtBoi: On a different note, Kazuya has turned his attention from his confession to what you did earlier

StarvingArtBoi: He's chasing after you now with a large amount of bloodlust in his eyes

PreciousScarfBoi: You kinda deserve that...

FluffyThiefBoi: Well fuck

DemonPhoneBoi: Rip my dude

StarvingArtBoi: Can I still have some ice cream?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this, Hibiki, Daichi, Atsuro and Yusuke all ate ice cream while Kazuya beat the crap outta Ren.
> 
> "It was worth it" - Ren Amamiya, 2k18


	7. Operation Start: NaoHide Division

Yu Narukami has added Yosuke Hanamura, Minato Arisato and Ryoji Mochizuki to the chat

Yu has changed his nickname to Leader

Leader has changed Yosuke's nickname to Partner

Leader has changed Minato's nickname to Messiah

Leader has changed Ryoji's nickname to Death

Leader: Okay, Yukiko told me that they left the inn about five minutes, so they should be reaching the shopping district soon

Partner: Okay, I'll let you guys know when I see them

Leader: Good, okay, is everyone in position?

Partner: Yeah, I'm by the gas station

Death: Minato and I are at the steak kabob place

Leader: And I'm at Tatsuhime Shrine

Partner: Are you hanging out with that fox again?

Leader:

Leader: That's not important

Partner: That's a yes

Death: But, are you sure you want Minato and I here? I think Minato's a little distracted...

Leader: How do you mean?

Death sent a image

Leader: Oh

Partner: Dude, calm down, one at a time!

Death: That's what I keep telling him...

Messiah: The steak's really good, fuck off

Partner: Yeah, but one, we've got something else we need to focus on right now

Partner: And two, if you keep eating at that pace, you'll choke to death

Messiah: Eh, I've died once before, I'll be fine

Death: ...

Leader: Are you okay???

Messiah: Absolutely not

Partner: Oh shit, they're here

Leader: Whereabouts are they?

Partner: They just went into Deidara's

Death: Deidara's?

Partner: It's where we get our weapons and armour

Messiah: Why are they going in there?

Death: Yeah, that's not very romantic...

Partner: I beg to differ

Partner: Once Yu saved me by slicing a shadow in half with his katana, and I just wanted to grab him and kiss him right there on the spot

Death: .......

Messiah: Keep it in your pants, Yosuke

Leader: While I am extremely flattered, let's get back on track, go into Deidara's and keep an eye on them

Partner: Got it

Partner: I'm in

Death: What are they doing?

Partner: Looking at swords and spears

Messiah: Sexy

Death: Well, it's sexier than watching your boyfriend shove five steak kabobs down his throat at once...

Messiah: Shut your fuck

Messiah: The steak is good

Messiah: Leave me alone

Leader: A n y w a y

Leader: Yosuke, make sure Hidehiko doesn't notice you watching them, look like you're browsing or something

Partner: Easy enough

Death: Make sure you tell us about anything interesting you see!

Partner: Do you mean the lovebirds or the weapons?

Death: The lovebirds, moron!

Messiah: I wouldn't mind hearing about any interesting weapons you see

Leader: Guys...

Partner: You usually use short swords, right?

Messiah: Yea

Partner: I'll keep an eye out

Messiah: Thank

Leader: Can you guys please focus?

Messiah: Maybe

Partner: Sorry babe

Leader: ßffshhj

Death: Wow

Partner: Ooh, I have some news

Leader: ???

Death: Do tell!

Partner: Hidehiko told a joke, Naoya burst out laughing and placed his hand on Hidehiko's shoulder, and I swear I just saw Hidehiko blush

Messiah: Whipped

Death: C u t e!!! ^_^

Leader: Well, that should hopefully make our job easier

Partner: Oh, they're leaving

Partner: I think they're headed towards Minato and Ryoji

Death: Oh, I see them, they just walked past us

Partner: Whereabouts are they?

Death: They just went into a Chinese looking shop?

Leader: Oh, Aiya's? Yeah, they're famous for their beef bowls

Messiah: Beef bowls???

Death: I think you've eaten enough already...

Messiah: -3-

Messiah: I'm going

Death: N o

Leader: No, no, it's fine, we need someone to keep an eye on them

Leader: Go with him, Ryoji, they'll just think you're on a date

Death: Fine, although it's less a date and more babysitting...

Messiah: Says the guy who nearly got us killed during the Kyoto trip

Death:

Death: You win this round

Messiah: :P

Partner: What should I do?

Leader: Um.... Go wait by the bus stop, just in case they choose to go somewhere else

Partner: Got it

Messiah: Damn, it smells really good in here

Death: It does, if I hadn't just eaten, I'd definitely wanna eat something in here

Messiah: You're weak

Messiah: I'm ordering something

Partner: Wow, with the amount you eat, you should try the Rainy Day Challenge

Messiah: What's that?

Leader: It's a special item that they only offer on rainy days, it's a bowl just piled full of meat and if you eat it all within the time limit, it's free

Leader: No one's ever finished it before

Partner: You came close before, tho!

Leader: Yeah, and I threw up as soon as I got home

Partner: Fair

Messiah: You're weak

Messiah: I'm definitely gonna try that

Messiah: szdsd

Leader: ???

Death: That was my fault, I nudged him to get him to look at Naoya and Hidehiko

Partner: Why? What are they doing?

Death: Naoya had some rice on his face and Hidehiko gently wiped it off for him

Messiah: Naoya's gone bright pink

Partner: W o w

Leader: I'm starting to wonder if Naoya really needs our help to hook up with Hidehiko...

Death: What do you mean?

Leader: I mean that Hidehiko is clearly flirting with Naoya, how are these two not together yet?

Messiah: Have you forgotten who we're talking about here?

Messiah: It's Naoya

Messiah: He's a fucking moron

Leader: 

Leader: Good point

Death: Well, maybe Hidehiko's to blame too... If he keeps on flirting, why doesn't he just confess already?

Messiah: You have absolutely no right to say that...

Partner: Maybe he's not sure if Naoya's into guys and he's scared to tell him?

Leader: Why does that sound so familiar?

Partner: Shut it

Messiah: But, this is Naoya we're talking about, he's one of the gayest fuckers I've ever met in my entire life

Leader: Yeah, but how do we know that he acts the same in front of other people?

Messiah: Why would he act differently in front of his childhood friends who clearly accept him for who he is?

Partner: Maybe he doesn't realise that they know he's gay?

Messiah: Well... He seems dense enough for that, I guess...

Death: Yeah... I mean, look at Ren

Partner: ...True

Leader: Very true

Death: Holy shit, Minato wtf

Leader: What?

Death: He's already finished his beef bowl!

Partner: But, you've only been in there for five minutes tho???

Death: I KNOW

Messiah: It's some good food, quit judging me

Leader: How does someone so tiny have such a huge appetite?

Messiah: Well, I died once

Messiah: That might have something to do with it

Leader: How???

Messiah: I dunno, I'm just making a suggestion

Partner: It doesn't make any sense tho...

Messiah: You're able to enter a TV, summon a Persona and fight monsters, but me having a huge appetite 'cause I died once is where you draw the line?

Partner:

Leader:

Death:

Messiah: That's what I thought

Messiah: Don't test me, bitch

Death: Oh shit, they're leaving

Partner: Yeah, I can see them from here

Partner: Hey Partner, they're heading over in your direction

Leader: Got it

Messiah: You guys can handle the rest, I'm gonna stay here

Death: Minato no, bad Minato

Messiah: Let me eat goddammit

Death: I think you've eaten enough...

Leader: Oh, they're walking past the Shrine

Partner: Where are they heading?

Leader: I dunno, I'm gonna follow them

Leader: Yosuke, come with me

Partner: Sure thing

Leader: Minato and Ryoji, follow them too, just keep a safe distance away from us

Death: Okie dokie

Messiah: Fine...

Leader: Okay... It looks like they're heading over to the Samegawa river...

Partner: You sure?

Leader: Maybe, they're headed in that general direction

Death: Guys, I've lost Minato

Partner: What?! How?!

Death: I don't know?! He was there, I turned a corner, looked behind me and he was gone

Messiah: Yeah, I'm out

Messiah: I spotted a Shiba Inu

Messiah: Soooooo, yeah, fuck Naoya, dogs are more important to me

Leader: Fine....

Leader: Ryoji, can you go back on keep an eye on Minato please?

Leader: Yosuke and I'll keep you updated with Naoya and Hidehiko

Death: I'm already on it

Partner: Oh, Yu was right, they're sitting at the riverbank

Leader: Let's just stay here, okay

Leader: We can see and hear them from here, so this spot should be fine

Partner: Yeah, okay

Partner: Although, they're not actually saying anything...

Death: Really?

Leader: Yeah, they're just sat there in silence and staring at the river...

Leader: It's really awkward...

Death: Well, at least there's something happening over here, I guess

Partner: Whaddya mean?

Death: Minato's been pinned down

Death sent an image

Partner: Damn, that's a cute dog

Death: And really friendly from the looks of it

Leader: Meh, cats are better

Messiah: Say that to my fucking face, bitch

Partner: Oh shit

Leader: Oh!

Leader: Wait, they're doing something!

Messiah: Don't dodge the question, pussy

Death: What are they doing?????

Partner: Nothing much, Naoya's just telling some crappy jokes

Death: Oh...

Leader: But, Hidehiko keeps shuffling closer to Naoya

Death: Oh!!!

Leader: I never realised that Naoya was this dense...

Death: Ikr, he always seems so confidant and cheeky, I honestly thought he'd be making the first moves

Leader: Same...

Messiah: Well, he's a huge moron, I think you guys forgot to take that into account

Leader: ...Fair

Partner: OH

Leader: OH

Messiah: What's happening?

Death: WHAT HAPPENED?????

Partner: Hidehiko just leaned in really close to Naoya and told him that he has something to tell him!!

Leader: Less told, more yelled...

Death: OOOOOOH

Death: THIS IS GETTING INTERESTING

Leader: OH

Leader: HOLY SHIT

Death: WHAT???????????

Partner: HIDEHIKO JUST CONFESSED

Partner: HE JUST YELLED THAT HE'S LOVED NAOYA SINCE THEY WERE KIDS!!!!!

Death: OMG YES!!!!

Messiah: Why the fuck did he wait so long to confess, then?????

Leader: THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW

Leader: NAOYA HASN'T SAID ANYTHING

Messiah: He better say yes, I swear to God...

Partner: Well, he nodded... So, I guess that's a yes???

Messiah: Good

Death: YAYYYYY!!!

Leader: Oh shit

Partner: OH FUCK

Death: What now?????

Leader: Naoya just fainted

Partner: Yeah...

Death: Is he okay??

Messiah: Did we even do anything to help the two of the get together?

Messiah: It doesn't feel like we did anything...

Leader: That's not important right now

Leader: Can you two come over here and help us?

Leader: We're gonna carry him to Kanji's house, 'cause it's nearby

Messiah: K

Death: We're on our way!

Partner: Well, that happened, I guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I don't think this chapter is all that good, but meh, it's better than nothing I guess??? I dunno???  
> But, yeah, I just have a headcannon that Minato has a huge appetite and eats way more than people expect someone of his size to eat. ('Cause he's so tiny and I love him)


	8. Operation Start: UlaMaya Division

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back.  
> Sorry for not updating this fic in a long time, I wrote another fic and a one shot, plus I haven't been doing too well lately.  
> But, I'm back, hopefully I'll update more frequently, and I hope you enjoy this chapter

Tatsuya Suou has added Jun Kurosu, Minako Arisato and Akihiko Sanada to the chat

Tatsuya: Okay, let's get this started already.

Minako: Aren't we gonna use codenames or something?

Tatsuya: No.

Jun: Awwwww....

Akihiko: To be fair, it's easier and quicker to just use our names

Tatsuya: ^^^

Minako: Y'all are boring... -3-

Jun: So, um, what exactly are we meant to be doing?

Jun: I mean, I know that we're meant to be helping Maya get together with Ulala, but how?

Tatsuya: We're making Maya casually run into Ulala when she leaves Gold and then they'll probably wander around town and we'll help out where we can.

Akihiko: 'Probably?'

Akihiko: Have you actually planned this?

Minako: What's Gold?

Tatsuya: A fitness club that Ulala's a member of

Minako: Ohhhhhhhhh, that sounds like fun

Akihiko: If it means you'll stop testing out your new moves on Minato, go ahead and join

Minako: Hey! He never says no, he's happy to help me practise! No one gets hurt!

Akihiko: Do you not remember the time you practised a strangle hold on him?

Minako: ...

Akihiko: You made him pass out.

Jun: Oh dear...

Minako: He wasn't that bad...

Akihiko: Junpei and Fuuka thought he was dead.

Minako: ...

Minako: I forget my own strength sometimes

Akihiko: My point proven. Leave your brother alone.

Jun: Was Minato okay?

Tatsuya: Did he even try to fight back?

Akihiko: Yes, and no

Akihiko: He was out cold for two minutes, and he doesn't fight back 'cause he knows Mina doesn't take no for an answer

Minako: He died once before, he'll be fine

Jun: I'm fairly certain that it doesn't work like that...

Tatsuya: Can we get back on track?

Akihiko: How can we get back on track when you haven't planned out our strategy?

Tatsuya: ...

Tatsuya: Look, I confessed to Jun when we were rushing to save the world, I'm not good with casual confessions

Tatsuya: What do you want from me?

Akihiko: ...That's fair.

Jun: Tacchi, while you may be awkward, you're still very romantic, and I love you for that.

Tatsuya: dcāhhjjkfkj

Jun: ?

Minako: I think he means that he loves you too

Jun: Oh! Thank you, Tacchi! <3

Tatsuya: svagllklkjj

Akihiko: Uh, guys? Is Ulala a tall, muscular woman with red and white hair?

Tatsuya: Yeah, why?

Akihiko: 'Cause she's just left Gold

Tatsuya: FUCK

Jun: SHIT

Minako: Jun swore?!

Tatsuya: You clearly haven't known him long enough if you're surprised by that.

Tatsuya: But anyway, move move move

Tatsuya: Jun, signal to Maya to walk past

Jun: Done

Minako: Wow, I've never Maya so red

Tatsuya: She's always like this when she's talking to Ulala

Jun: Especially when Ulala touches her

Minako: What, like when she puts her arm over her shoulders like she is now?

Tatsuya: Yup

Jun: Definitely

Minako: But, damn, Ulala's biceps are huge...

Jun: She boxes

Akihiko: She has good taste

Minako: She looks like she could break me

Tatsuya: She probably could if she wanted to

Minako: That's kinda hot

Akihiko: ...

Minako: Aki

Akihiko: I don't wanna break you

Minako: Boo...

Akihiko: ??? Why would I wanna hurt the girl I love???

Minako: ...Okay, that's adorable

Akihiko: ? I'm confused?

Minako: Don't worry about it, babe, just keep doing what you're doing

Akihiko: Okay?

Jun: Um, they're going?

Jun: What do we do now?

Tatsuya: Follow them

Tatsuya: Walk in pairs

Tatsuya: Jun and I will be a pair, and Minako and Akihiko will be the other

Jun: Okay!

Akihiko: Got it

Minako: Okie dokie

Jun: What do you think they're going to do?

Tatsuya: Not sure yet, trying to think of places they like

Minako: Well, I'm sure it'll be romantic!

Akihiko: They just went into a building?

Minako: Ooooh, maybe they're having a meal together or something?

Tatsuya: Which building?

Akihiko: That blue one to your left

Tatsuya: Oh

Jun: Oh.

Minako: What?

Jun: They've gone grocery shopping

Minako: ...Oh

Jun: Exactly

Tatsuya: Maya chickened out again, didn't she?

Jun: Most likely...

Tatsuya: Okay, Jun and I will go in and try to get Maya to make a move, can you two just hang around outside so you can see where they go when they leave?

Akihiko: Sure thing

Minako: Tell Maya to get her ass in gear already

Tatsuya: Will do

Akihiko: What are they doing?

Tatsuya: At the moment? Buying milk.

Jun: Well, now Ulala is scolding Maya for needing new clothes.

Minako: Maya's clothes do look kinda small on her...

Tatsuya: Omfg

Akihiko: What?

Tatsuya: Ulala just asked Maya when she last bought herself new clothes

Tatsuya: Maya said four years ago

Minako: Are you fucking kidding me?

Minako: Maya why?

Jun: Well, at least we know where they're going after this

Jun: Ulala is basically gonna drag Maya to a clothes store

Minako: G o o d

Minako: Tell Maya that picking out cute outfits for the both of them will make her look beautiful and give her opportunities to compliment and flirt with Ulala at the same time.

Tatsuya: Okay

Jun: Wow, I don't think I've seen Maya's eyes sparkle so much

Tatsuya: So, anyway, once they finish buying their groceries, they're heading to the clothes store around the corner.

Minako: Ooh, I know the one you're talking about, I saw it as I was heading towards Gold

Tatsuya: Good, can you two head over there now? Ulala doesn't know either of you, plus you'll just look like a couple going shopping together.

Minako: Can do!

Akihiko: Sure thing

Jun: Y'know, there are times that make me wonder if Maya is actually an adult or just a child in an adult's body...

Minako: How do you mean?

Jun: She's just piling loads of sweets and junk food into her basket, and Ulala is the one getting vegetables

Tatsuya: You have no room to talk

Jun: What are you talking about?

Tatsuya: Who's the one that usually stuffs their face whenever Katsuya bakes cakes?

Jun: ...

Minako: Really? Jun doesn't really seem like the type who likes sweet things to me?

Tatsuya: Yeah, well, whenever Katsuya bakes a cake, Jun eats so much, he looks like a chipmunk with his cheeks all puffed out

Jun: Tacchi!

Minako: Omg, that's adorable!

Tatsuya: It is

Jun: ...

Akihiko: Jun doesn't seem too happy

Tatsuya: He's pouting

Jun: ...

Minako: Welp, we're here

Tatsuya: Good, stay on standby

Minako: Neat, I'm gonna check out some clothes

Jun: Well, be quick, they're at the checkout now

Akihiko: Okay, I'll keep an eye out for them

Tatsuya: We'll head over as well, but we'll probably just hang around outside the shop

Minako: That's fine

Jun: They're leaving the supermarket now

Akihiko: Got it

Tatsuya: Jun's gonna follow them, I'm gonna buy us some drinks and then catch up

Jun: They'll probably be there in about 2-3 minutes

Minako: Okay

Akihiko: Mina, don't you think you should be looking out for them instead of shoving your face into the clothes racks?

Minako: Nah

Minako: I just found a cute shirt, but I can't find it in my size

Minako: You look out for the useless lesbians, I look out for a shirt in my size

Akihiko: Can't really argue against that...

Tatsuya: Jun, what drink do you want?

Jun: Herbal tea, please

Tatsuya: Okay, I'll be there in a minute

Akihiko: They're here

Minako: Well, that's perfect timing

Minako: I just found that shirt in my size

Minako: Yeah, I'm buying this

Akihiko: That's fine, but maybe we should focus on Maya and Ulala now?

Minako: Fiiiiiiiiiine...

Jun: Whereabouts are they? I can't see them from here

Akihiko: They've gone towards the back of the store

Tatsuya: I'm here now

Minako: How's your herbal tea, Jun?

Jun: Delicious

Minako: What's Tatsuya got?

Tatsuya: Coffee

Tatsuya: Now focus on the, in your words, useless lesbians

Minako: Kayyyyyyy

Jun: What are they doing?

Akihiko: Ulala's picking out possible outfits and Maya's pouting

Tatsuya: Sounds about right

Tatsuya: Can you try and get Maya to do something?

Minako: Like what?

Tatsuya: Anything

Tatsuya: At this point, I'm beyond caring

Tatsuya: I just need her to stop pining

Minako: Fair enough, I'll see what I can do

Akihiko: Please don't cause a scene

Minako: When have I ever done that?

Akihiko: Do you want me to list them?

Minako: ...

Minako: Please don't

Jun: I never thought of Minako as the trouble making type

Akihiko: She's not, she's just easily excited and tends to get a little carried away

Minako: Look, I'll be discreet, okay?

Akihiko: Okay

Tatsuya: I'm slightly worried now, what's she doing?

Akihiko: She just edged towards Maya and is whispering something to her

Akihiko: I can't hear what they're saying though

Minako: I just told her to compliment Ulala and when she feels comfortable, ask her out

Tatsuya: But, Maya can't flirt

Minako: I didn't tell her to flirt with Ulala, I told her to compliment her

Minako: I'm taking advantage of her friendliness

Jun: That could work

Jun: Hopefully

Tatsuya: Wait, I think I see them

Jun: Is Ulala leaning on Maya?

Minako: Y u p

Akihiko: The two of them seem really oblivious

Minako: You would be an expert on that

Akihiko: What?

Minako: Nevermind

Tatsuya: Looks like they're talking now

Minako: 'Cause they are

Tatsuya: Don't be a smartass

Jun: What're they saying?

Akihiko: Hang on, I'll text you what they say

Jun: Thanks

Minako: I'll look, he'll listen

Akihiko: Basically

Akihiko: Maya - Are you sure that this will suit me?

Akihiko: Ulala - Of course, you should stop worrying and buy whatever you like. Besides, you need some new clothes.

Akihiko: Maya - If you say so

Akihiko: Ulala - I guess I should probably get myself something too

Akihiko: Maya - Well, you'll definitely look amazing in whatever you wear

Akihiko: Ulala - Awww, that's so sweet of you!

Akihiko: Sorry, I couldn't catch what Maya said...

Minako: 'Cause those weren't words, those were just random noises

Jun: ???

Minako: Maya's short circuiting 'cause Ulala hugged her

Tatsuya: Oh, that makes sense

Akihiko: They're just commenting about the clothes they're looking at now

Tatsuya: Well, let us know when they say anything interesting

Akihiko: Okay, Minako and I will just browse around near them

Jun: Minako, keep an eye on them

Minako: Will do!

Tatsuya: They don't really seem to be doing much

Minako: 'Cause they're not

Tatsuya: Isn't that a problem?

Minako: Not my fault that Maya's not making any moves

Akihiko: She's complimenting Ulala a lot, does that count as something?

Jun: Are any of the compliments flirty at all?

Akihiko: Not really, no

Jun: Then no

Akihiko: Okay then

Minako: They're pretty close to each other, though

Tatsuya: This is taking forever...

Tatsuya: I'm getting another drink...

Jun: Can you get me one too, please?

Tatsuya: Another herbal tea?

Jun: Yes, please

Minako: See, why aren't they together yet?

Minako: They're almost as in sync as you two

Tatsuya: 'Cause they're oblivious as shit

Jun: ^^^

Akihiko: I think Maya just flirted?

Jun: !!!!

Tatsuya: What did she say?

Akihiko: "I think you should try on that skin tight dress, it'd show off just how sexy you are"

Jun: W o w

Tatsuya: About damn time she said something like that

Minako: I'm so proud of her!!

Jun: Now all she's gotta do is confess

Tatsuya: You think she can do it?

Jun: Hopefully?

Minako: Well, she's looking kinda nervous

Minako: And she's fidgeting a lot

Minako: Maybe she will?

Jun: We can only hope...

Akihiko: You sound as if you've given up hope

Tatsuya: We've had to deal with her pining for years, okay?

Jun: It's gotten kinda oldcfhhvjk

Minako: ‘Oldcfhhvjk’?????

Tatsuya: That was an accident

Tatsuya: Lisa saw us and came to say hello

Jun: fdẃßtjhjjykjyjjkkf

Jun: Hello hello, what's this???

Akihiko: I'm guessing this is Lisa?

Jun: I am her, yes

Minako: HELLO!! :3

Jun: HELLO!! :D

Jun: Is this that 'Protag chat' Chinyan has said about???

Minako: Nope, that chat is much bigger and much gayer

Tatsuya: Yup

Akihiko: I haven't been there long, but yeah

Jun: Sooooooo, what's this???

Minako: The 'Stop Maya and Ulala being such useless lesbians and finally make them become girlfriends' patrol

Jun: It's about fucking time!!! >:3c

Tatsuya: We are not being called that

Jun: Tough titty, that's what you're called now!

Tatsuya: Can you please give Jun his phone back?

Jun: Only if I get to watch the results of the operation with you guys

Tatsuya: Deal

Minako: Wait wait! Lisa, before you go!! When all this is done, could you give me your opinions on the new clothes I've just bought! Aki gets too flustered to give me his opinion

Jun: I WOULD LOVE TO!!!!

Akihiko: I only get flustered 'cause you're so pretty...

Jun: I'm back

Jun: My ribs hurt now...

Akihiko: Why?

Jun: Lisa accidentally elbowed me when she said hi

Tatsuya: So, what exactly has happened so far? Lisa wants to know

Akihiko: Not much...

Minako: They met up in front of Gold, they went grocery shopping, Ulala lectured Maya about her clothes, they're clothes shopping and Maya made one (1) flirty comment

Tatsuya: 'That's boring' she says

Minako: That it is

Jun: I have to agree

Jun: Have they done anything else since Lisa came?

Akihiko: Maya's bright red and keeps looking like she's about to say something and then doesn't

Minako: Well, if she's gonna say something, she better hurry up and say it!

Tatsuya: Lisa agrees

Minako: Is Lisa sick of Maya's pining too?

Tatsuya: Our entire group is sick of Maya's pining

Jun: Yep

Minako: ????

Tatsuya: What?

Minako: Maya just grabbed Ulala's wrist

Jun: Ohhh???

Minako: Aki, get ready to text what they say

Akihiko: Right

Minako: Maya looks like she's preparing herself

Jun: Hasn't she been preparing herself for, what, the past five minutes?

Minako: From the looks of it, yeah

Tatsuya: Well, she better hurry up and say it, Lisa's clutching to my arm and it hurts

Minako: Tell her to let go

Tatsuya: She won't let go until Maya confesses

Akihiko: Maya - Ulala, I've got something to ask you

Jun: Oh?

Minako: :3c

Akihiko: Ulala - Really? Well, go ahead

Tatsuya: Seriously, just go ahead and fucking say it already.

Minako: Stop stuttering and say it!!!!

Jun: Please!!

Minako: AAAAAAAAAAAAA

Jun: WHAT?

Tatsuya: What????

Akihiko: Maya - I've liked you for quite a while now, so I was wondering you maybe wanted to be my girlfriend?

Tatsuya: HOLY SHIT, SHE ACTUALLY DID IT!

Jun: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE SAY YES

Minako: VCFSACGDBMJYTTGCK,,KKJGFJ

Minako: OMFG XD

Tatsuya: WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?????

Jun: WE NEED TO KNOW!!!!!

Akihiko: Ulala - I thought we were already girlfriends?

Tatsuya: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Jun: OMG, THAT'S AMAZING

Akihiko: Ulala just said that she thought they'd been dating for three months...

Akihiko: Holy shit, really?

Akihiko: How were they so oblivious???

Tatsuya: Now you know our pain

Akihiko: Minako, you were right, they are useless lesbians

Minako: I thought you would have gained some experience with this sort of thing after the whole fiasco with Mitsuru and Yukari

Akihiko: That's very true

Tatsuya: What happened?

Minako: Just our friends being dumb and not figuring out they liked each other for years until someone asked them how long they'd been dating and they finally discovered they both liked each other

Minako: If we knew that asking them how long they'd been dating would sort it out, we would have asked them that a lot sooner...

Akihiko: Yeah, so Minako had to deal with Yukari gushing about Mitsuru and I had to deal with Mitsuru gushing about Yukari for years...

Jun: Wow....

Tatsuya: Jun... We're finally free from Maya's pining...

Jun: Sweet freedom!

Tatsuya: Why don't we tell Eikichi and celebrate together?

Jun: Sounds good!

Minako: Hey! Lisa! Let's check out those outfits now!

Jun: cdfkgh

Akihiko: Is Lisa that blonde girl who just shoved past Jun and ran through the shop door?

Tatsuya: That would her, yes.

Akihiko: Btw, did we actually do anything to get Maya and Ulala together???

Tatsuya: ......Hm... Doesn't feel like it...

Jun: Not really, no...


	9. We're All Idiots Here

DoIEvenExist: Wtf did I miss yesterday????

BunnyBoi: Good news! You won't have to deal with anyone pining anymore!

DoIEvenExist: Really? Are they finally together??

KickassPrincess: Yep!

DoIEvenExist: How??? I thought they were all too scared to confess???

IWantToDieChi: We helped

DidjaSeeThatShinji: Kind of...

HeadphoneOverlord: Ren, I hate you so fucking much right now

NaoNya: What happened?

ArtIsSuffering: He threw a football at Kazuya's head and caused him to accidentally kiss Atsuro.

IWantToDieChi: Yeah, and then Kazuya chased him and beat the crap outta him while the rest of us ate ice cream

ThinkPositiveBitches: Wow, wish I could have seen that

FluffyThiefBoi: I have so many bruises right now

FluffyThiefBoi: It hurts a lot

DoIEvenExist: Ren, remember how I said that you get into trouble because of your own stupidity?

DoIEvenExist: You're only proving my point

FluffyThiefBoi: That's fair

Vroom: You okay, Ren?

FluffyThiefBoi: Yeah, I'm fine, thanks for asking, Dad

Vroom: Anytime, Son

DoIEvenExist: So, what did the rest of you do?

BowlCutBitch: We followed Naoya and Hidehiko and tried to find ways to help them

DiscoNinjaFrog: Well, Yu, Ryoji and I followed them while Minato shoved meat into his mouth

NaoNya: I'M SORRY, WHAT?

DevotedDeath: That's an interesting way to word it

Minty: I would say that gives people the wrong idea, but I do that too

HeadphoneOverlord: SAFDLKKJHẞFJLŶJĴ

BunnyBoi: OMFG

FluffyThiefBoi: HOLY FUCK, MINATO

KickassPrincess: TMI TMI I DO NOT NEED TO KNOW THIS ABOUT MY BROTHER

Minty: In my defense, what I was actually doing was eating a lot of steak skewers and a beef bowl

DevotedDeath: Yep, I had to babysit him

DiscoNinjaFrog: Yeah, I'm still half asleep, so I worded that badly

FloralStar: Well, you weren't exactly lying

BowlCutBitch: I literally left for a minute, wtf is going on?

ThinkPositiveBitches: Minato shoves meat into his mouth apparently

BowlCutBitch: Is that literal or a euphemism?

Minty: How about both?

FluffyThiefBoi: Care to weigh in, Ryoji?

DevotedDeath:

DevotedDeath: No comment

DoIEvenExist: Now I'm glad I wasn't involved in any of this

Vroom: That's very fair

FluffyThiefBoi: What about you? How was your theme park trip?

DoIEvenExist: It was fun! Jun really enjoyed himself, Takuro couldn't walk straight for five minutes after spinning the teacups way too fast, Megumi ate too many sweets, Kanaru loved all of the rollercoasters, Inui joined us for lunch with his dog, and Ryou and Eiko managed to join us later on in the day.

BowlCutBitch: That sounds lovely

Minty: Seems like you had a lot of fun while we were dealing with all that bullshit

Vroom: 'Jun'?

DoIEvenExist: My little brother

FloralStar: Oh! What a coincidence!

DoIEvenExist: Oh, wow, I actually didn't notice that

IWantToDieChi: How do you not notice that someone has the same name as your brother???

BunnyBoi: :/

DoIEvenExist: I don't know...

FloralStar: Stop bullying Shin! >:(

FluffyThiefBoi: Listen to my dad, assholes

DoIEvenExist: It's okay, they're clearly joking

DoIEvenExist: I hope

NaoNya: Yeah, yeah, I've been waiting to bring something up, but everyone keeps changing the subject so fuck it

NaoNya has added Hidehiko Uesugi to the chat

Hidehiko: 'Sup sluts

Hidehiko has changed his nickname to YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick

Minty: Spear

DevotedDeath: Spear

BowlCutBitch: Spear

DidjaSeeThatShinji: Spear

ArtIsSuffering: Spear

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Blocked and reported

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: None of you are free from sin

NaoNya: Stop bullying my boyfriend, fuckers

DiscoNinjaFrog: Excuse us, but who helped you actually get him to be your boyfriend?

NaoNya: ...

NaoNya: Shut your fuck

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: So anyways, what's this????

ThinkPositiveBitches: A chat where we meme and be gay

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Sweet

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Be Gay Do Crimes

FluffyThiefBoi: Oh, I'm already doing both of those things

ArtIsSuffering: I believe all of the phantom thieves are doing that

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: You're doing good, kids

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: I'm proud of you

FluffyThiefBoi: 

ArtIsSuffering: 

NaoNya: ???

FluffyThiefBoi: iill,m goknna 3ēd aīnute

KickassPrincess: What?

FloralStar: 'I'm gonna need a minute'

ArtIsSuffering: Asss amn ii

Vroom: 'As am I'

BowlCutBitch: You guys okay?

BunnyBoi: Well, I mean, they've been through a lot of shit thanks to adults taking advantage of them and ruining their lives...

IWantToDieChi: Yeah, they're probably not used to people telling them they're proud of them

FluffyThiefBoi: Don't call me out like this

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Well, you kids are valid

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: I just wanna adopt you now

FloralStar: Back off, bitch

FloralStar: Tacchan and I already called dibs

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Fine, then I'll be the weird uncle

NaoNya: You fit that role perfectly

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Like you have any room to talk

NaoNya: Fair, I'll be the other weird uncle

DevotedDeath: What about Minato and I?

DoIEvenExist: The kooky uncles???

ThinkPositiveBitches: That would work!

Vroom: I mean, Minato died once, Ryoji is death... It works

Minty: I'm fine with this

BowlCutBitch: What about us?

NaoNya: The dorky uncles

DiscoNinjaFrog: Well, I mean... Yeah.

BunnyBoi: I feel like Maya/Ulala and Minako/Akihiko have the same vibe going on

DidjaSeeThatShinji: How do you mean?

BunnyBoi: Maya and Minako are both cheerful and preppy, while you and Ulala are more jockish, I mean, both of you box

KickassPrincess: Oh damn, I never noticed that

ThinkPositiveBitches: I love it!

KickassPrincess: Me too!

ArtIsSuffering: I don't think I've ever received this much support

FluffyThiefBoi: Same

FluffyThiefBoi: I feel so fucking blessed right now

ArtIsSuffering: Thank you all

ArtIsSuffering: I appreciate your comments, they're very comforting

FloralStar: No problem, sweetheart <3

HeadphoneOverlord has added Atsuro Kihara to the chat

DoIEvenExist: Oh, another new person!

HeadphoneOverlord: My baby is here

Atsuro: Hello!

FluffyThiefBoi: HEY ATSURO

Atsuro: HEY REN!

BunnyBoi: How you doing, beanie boy?

Atsuro: Pretty good, rabbit ears

IWantToDieChi: I have no idea what to say, but everyone else in the Tokyo group is saying something and now I'm panicking so hey

Atsuro: What a mood

Atsuro has changed his nickname to IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Ayyyyy another long nickname!!!

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: Yayyyyy

DoIEvenExist: Why must you do this to us???

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: To annoy all of you, obviously

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: Well, I chose this nickname 'cause I do have the power of god and anime on my side \\_(°W°)_/

IWantToDieChi: Well, now I know why Yuzu calls you Otakuro

Minty: Di

Minty: Did you just combine the shrug emoji with owo???

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: Mayhaps >:3c

NaoNya: That is so fucking cursed

NaoNya: I love it

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Bitch same

Minty: I hate it

ArtIsSuffering: I hate it as well

BowlCutBitch: You should be ashamed for that abomination

FluffyThiefBoi: Oh I'm definitely using that emoji to piss off Ann and Ryuji

DevotedDeath: But, how do you have the power of god on your side????

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: Kazuya, obviously

DiscoNinjaFrog: Kazuya's a god???

HeadphoneOverlord: I'm more of a demon lord, but eh, close enough

ArtIsSuffering: 'Close enough'?

HeadphoneOverlord: Yeh

HeadphoneOverlord: Hang on, brb, someone's calling me

FluffyThiefBoi: K

BowlCutBitch: Okay

ThinkPositiveBitches has added Ulala Serizawa to the chat

ThinkPositiveBitches: Here she is!

Ulala: Hey there

Ulala: I'm guessing this is the chat that Maya's always giggling at?

NaoNya: Yea

Minty: Probably

DiscoNinjaFrog: That sounds about right

BunnyBoi: We're all idiots here

FluffyThiefBoi: Prepare for some weird bullshit

Ulala: Well, I'm friends with some weird people, so I should be able to handle it

Vroom: Rude

FloralStar: Excuse me?

Ulala: Well, Tatsuya, one of your hobbies is literally making motorcycle noises

Ulala: And Jun, you're pretty much the only normal one of the group

FloralStar: ^_^

Vroom: That's fair...

Ulala: Honestly, the main people that come to mind are Baofu and that blue haired kid that says all that strange shit

FluffyThiefBoi: Eikichi?

Ulala: Yeah, that's him

ThinkPositiveBitches: Yeah, okay, we'll give you that

FluffyThiefBoi: I think Eikichi's cool...

Vroom: Yeah, he's a great guy, he's just a little eccentric

Minty: Well, Ren seems to like the eccentric type.

ArtIsSuffering: I'm not sure I like what you're insinuating with that comment.

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: Tbf, the majority of people we know are a bit eccentric

BunnyBoi: That is very true

DevotedDeath: Fair enough

ThinkPositiveBitches: Babe, you should give yourself a nickname so you fit in!!

Ulala: What do I call myself?

DoIEvenExist: Something that describes you??

FluffyThiefBoi: Have you seen the shit we call ourselves? Just make your nickname whatever the fuck you want

Ulala: Okaaayyyyyyy....

Ulala: Uh

Ulala: Is this okay?

Ulala has changed her nickname to Flamenco&Fisticuffs

ThinkPositiveBitches: Perfect

Vroom: Definitely you

KickassPrincess: Beautiful

NaoNya: Spectacular

FloralStar: Wonderful

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: 10/10

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: Thanks!

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: I was kinda worried that I'd sound fucking stupid or something

Minty: Nah, you can't sound stupid in a chat with Yu

BowlCutBitch: Why do you always torment me?

Minty: 'Cause it's fun

BowlCutBitch: It's not for me

Minty: Meh

BowlCutBitch: -_-

DidjaSeeThatShinji: By the way, Ulala, I heard that you box?

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: Yeah, I do

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: I'm not a professional or anything, but I'm pretty good

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: Plus, it's great stress relief

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: Why'd you ask?

DidjaSeeThatShinji: 'Cause I box too

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: Oh cool

DidjaSeeThatShinji: Well, you're older than me, so you probably know more stuff than me

DidjaSeeThatShinji: So, do you think you could give me some tips?

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: Sure thing!

DidjaSeeThatShinji: Thanks!

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: Maybe you two should have a match?

Flamenco&Fisticuffs:

DidjaSeeThatShinji: 

BunnyBoi: Holy shit

IWantToDieChi: Omfg

ArtIsSuffering: Oh?

DidjaSeeThatShinji: That's an amazing idea

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: I love it

DiscoNinjaFrog: But, shouldn't they fight for something?

DevotedDeath: What are they gonna fight for?

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Their girlfriends' honour?

FluffyThiefBoi: Ooh, I love that idea

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: If it's for Maya

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: I will kick your ass

ThinkPositiveBitches: Wow, that's very sweet but kinda scary

DidjaSeeThatShinji: I will fight my hardest for Minako

KickassPrincess: Awwwwwww!!!

KickassPrincess: Thank you, Aki!!

Minty: Do you really think she needs people to fight for her?

Minty: Minako could easily kick anyone's ass

DidjaSeeThatShinji: That is very true

DidjaSeeThatShinji: I mean, I asked her to stop practising moves on you 'cause of that time she knocked you out

KickassPrincess: He was fiiiiiiiiiiiine

Minty: I appreciate that, Akihiko

KickassPrincess: ???

Minty: Please stop putting me in headlocks

KickassPrincess: -3-

Minty: Don't -3- me

Minty: Just because I'm your brother and I died once, it doesn't make me your punching bag

KickassPrincess: Kayyyyyyy....

HeadphoneOverlord: I is back

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: Welcome back! <3 ^_^

HeadphoneOverlord: Thank ^_^

ThinkPositiveBitches: What was the call about?

FloralStar: Is everything okay?

HeadphoneOverlord: Yeah, it was just Naoya needing to check something

NaoNya: Nani?

HeadphoneOverlord: Not you, my cousin Naoya

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: How's he doing? He hasn't messaged me in a while

HeadphoneOverlord: He's fine, just busy, didn't really say much about it

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Wait, so you and your cousins names' are Kazuya and Naoya???

HeadphoneOverlord: Yeah?

NaoNya: You bastards

HeadphoneOverlord: ?

NaoNya: How fucking dare you?

HeadphoneOverlord: What?

NaoNya: How dare you steal mine and my twin's names?!

HeadphoneOverlord: ...What?

Vroom: Why are you such a drama queen?

Minty: It's Naoya, why the fuck are you asking that?

Vroom: Fair

BunnyBoi: Wait, Naoya, you have a twin?

BowlCutBitch: I've never heard about that

FluffyThiefBoi: Why didn't you tell us???

NaoNya:

NaoNya: I fucked up

NaoNya: I'm not talking about this right now

NaoNya has gone offline

DiscoNinjaFrog: Is he okay?

IWantToDieChi: I'm a little worried...

DoIEvenExist: He seemed a bit defensive

FluffyThiefBoi: Did we say something wrong?

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: It's fine, you guys didn't do anything

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: It's just a bit of a touchy subject for him

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: How so? If I'm allowed to ask...

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: I mean, I don't really wanna go into detail since, y'know, it's his business

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: But, his twin died when we were young

DidjaSeeThatShinji: Oh.

HeadphoneOverlord: I'm so sorry, I had no idea

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: It's fine, he only told the group that we hang around with. Plus, some of us, myself included, grew up with them

BowlCutBitch: Yeah, I can kind of understand how he feels

BowlCutBitch: I mean, with what happened with Nanako and all that

BowlCutBitch: Sure, she ended up fine, so I probably have no room to talk, but you know...

DiscoNinjaFrog: Yu...

FluffyThiefBoi: I'm really sorry if we crossed some sort of line

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: No, no, it's cool, don't worry about it

FloralStar: But, Naoya always seems so cheerful and cheeky...

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: Yeah, whenever I see him, he's usually got a big stupid grin on his face

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Yeah, I get that, but it took quite a while for him to reach that point

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Kazuya's death, understandably, really affected him and his family. I mean, he pierced his ear to remind himself and his mother that he's Naoya not Kazuya

ArtIsSuffering: My word...

ThinkPositiveBitches: It sounds complicated...

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: It is, so it's probably best to let him talk about it at his own pace

HeadphoneOverlord: Yeah...

DoIEvenExist: I understand how he feel, I mean stuff happened to my family that's kinda complicated, so I have an idea of how he must feel...

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Yeah, I get that... Maybe we should end this conversation for now...

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: Yeah, that's probably for the best

FloralStar: I agree

DiscoNinjaFrog: Yeah...

FluffyThiefBoi: I'm really sorry...

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Seriously, it's fine. Naoya's probably fine with it, he doesn't hold grudges, he just kinda has a hard time with emotional shit

ArtIsSuffering: That is perfectly understandable.

Minty: Yeah, I get that...

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Yeah, exactly, well, I'm gonna go talk to Naoya, see if he's doing okay and all that... Talk to you guys later

Vroom: See you later

KickassPrincess: Bye

BunnyBoi: See ya

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick has gone offline

DevotedDeath: Well, that was awkward...

IWantToDieChi: Yeah...

FluffyThiefBoi: I feel really guilty now...

FloralStar: It wasn't your fault...

ArtIsSuffering: You didn't know

BowlCutBitch: I'm worried about Naoya

DiscoNinjaFrog: I hope he's okay...

ThinkPositiveBitches: I'm sure he'll be fine

HeadphoneOverlord: Yeah, I mean, if anyone can cheer him up, it's Hidehiko

KickassPrincess: He'll probably message us when he feels better, let's just wait until he's ready to talk

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: Okay...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys want some angst?
> 
> Yeah, you do! Here's some angst! Enjoy!


	10. I Have No Idea What I'm Doing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyy, sorry that I haven't updated this in quite a while, I've been focusing on my bigger fic project and a few one shot stories, but I got some incredibly sweet comments from someone (You know who you are, you precious lil bean <3) and I was overcome with sudden inspiration for this fic again.  
> It was a lot easier to write than my other fics, so I'll probably update this fic whenever I need a break from the tougher fics.  
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

NaoNya: Yo

NaoNya: So, uh

NaoNya: I just wanted to say sorry about suddenly leaving the chat a few days ago...

NaoNya: It's just... My twin is a bit of hard subject to talk about, and when I let it slip, I panicked...

NaoNya: Soooo, yeah, sorry about that.

BowlCutBitch: It's fine, don't worry about it.

Minty: It's cool

Vroom: It's okay.

FluffyThiefBoi: We all understand

HeadphoneOverlord: I'm sorry for setting you off

NaoNya: No, it's not your fault, you didn't know.

KickassPrincess: You doing okay now?

NaoNya: Kinda... Half and half really...

ThinkPositiveBitches: I hope you feel better soon.

NaoNya: Thanks

FloralStar: Um, I hope you don't mind but Hidehiko told us the basic gist of what happened.

NaoNya: Yeah, I know. He told me.

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: I'm glad I was able to help, babe.

DoIEvenExist: If you need someone to talk about family issues, I'm your guy.

DoIEvenExist: My family's been through all sorts of shit.

NaoNya: That's really sweet of you, but also kind of a depressing thing to brag about...

DiscoNinjaFrog: You good binch???

DoIEvenExist: Not important

DidjaSeeThatShinji: You sure?

DevotedDeath: I sensing a lot from you, but I won't mention it if you don't want me to.

Minty: Hmmmm

DoIEvenExist: No thanks, I'm just extending an offer to Naoya, that's all.

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: How does this chat manage to be depressing and weird at the same time?

ArtIsSuffering: Very easily

BunnyBoi: Depressing and weird is basically us in a nutshell

NaoNya: Mood

IWantToDieChi: A ridiculously huge mood

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: Sorry for the sudden change of topic, but how weird is it that there are two Naoyas and Kazuyas that are related to each other???

BowlCutBitch: Ikr???

FloralStar: Such a strange coincidence...

ThinkPositiveBitches: What are the odds?

FluffyThiefBoi: I actually know another Naoya and Kazuya

DiscoNinjaFrog: Seriously?!

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: How the fuck?

ArtIsSuffering: Oh yes, the Makigami siblings

NaoNya: Whomst?

DoIEvenExist: I've never heard of them...

IWantToDieChi: Neither have I...

BunnyBoi: Have we met them?

ArtIsSuffering: No, Naoya is a classmate of mine. He regularly spends break and lunch with Hifumi and myself.

FluffyThiefBoi: And Kazuya... We changed his heart.

DidjaSeeThatShinji: Uh oh

FloralStar: That doesn't sound good...

Minty: What'd he do?

FluffyThiefBoi: He lead a group of thieves that robbed small businesses and beat his brother to relieve stress.

Vroom: Oh.

KickassPrincess: What a prick.

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Please tell you beat the everloving shit outta him

ArtIsSuffering: That we did.

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Sweet

BowlCutBitch: We're all proud of you.

DevotedDeath: Is Naoya doing better now?

ArtIsSuffering: Yes, much better.

ArtIsSuffering sent an image

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: Awwww, what a sweet picture!

FluffyThiefBoi: Thanks, I took it

FluffyThiefBoi: Yusuke complained about the composition being off...

DoIEvenExist: Do you ever think of anything other than art?

ArtIsSuffering: Not really, no

FluffyThiefBoi: 

BowlCutBitch: W o w

ArtIsSuffering: My thoughts generally consist of art, food, phantom thief business and Ren.

FluffyThiefBoi: !

Vroom: And which of those is your highest priority?

ArtIsSuffering: Ren, of course.

FluffyThiefBoi: acxvbbnfjk,j

FloralStar: That's good to hear :)

IWantToDieChi: That smiley face seems kinda deadly to me...

FloralStar: :)

BunnyBoi: Anyways, that Naoya kid has a really nice smile.

FluffyThiefBoi: Yeah, he didn't really smile much before, so it's nice seeing him like that.

ThinkPositiveBitches: That girl in that back is gorgeous!

FluffyThiefBoi: That's Hifumi.

Minty: The shogi player?

ArtIsSuffering: Yes.

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: How do you know all of these people????

FluffyThiefBoi: No idea.

FluffyThiefBoi: Persona. Arcana. Wildcard bullshit. I dunno...

BowlCutBitch: Oh mood

ThinkPositiveBitches: Seriously tho, her hair looks so silky! And her skin is flawless!

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: And look at those eyes!

NaoNya: We get it, you're useless lesbians, you can stop now.

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: I think the fuck not.

ThinkPositiveBitches: Look

ThinkPositiveBitches: I've had to listen to all of you go on and on about beautiful boys you see, I think I should be allowed to talk about beautiful girls.

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: ^^^

KickassPrincess: YES

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Wait, Minako, you're bi?

KickassPrincess: Yeh

KickassPrincess: I thought you guys knew?

DidjaSeeThatShinji: Yes, she is.

NaoNya: Do you ever jealous of cute girls she hangs around with?

DidjaSeeThatShinji: Of course not. Her being bi doesn't change anything, it just means that out of everyone on the entire earth, she chose me.

FluffyThiefBoi: THANK YOU

KickassPrincess: <3 <3 <3

BunnyBoi: BEHOLD A TRUE ALLY

DiscoNinjaFrog: Thanks, dude. That actually made me feel better about myself...

DidjaSeeThatShinji: It's fine.

DevotedDeath: Why'd do not feel great about being bi??? It's

DevotedDeath:

DevotedDeath: I was gonna make a bi pun, but I couldn't think of one...

IWantToDieChi: M o o d

BowlCutBitch: There's just assholes in our neighbourhood, can't keep their rude comments to themselves, you know the type...

Vroom: I know all too well...

HeadphoneOverlord: Oh, those kindsa pricks...

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Fuck 'em

FloralStar: It sure would be a shame if they got into an accident :)

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: How is someone so adorable, so terrifying???

FluffyThiefBoi: Much easier than you think...

IWantToDieChi: You've clearly never met Airi...

ArtIsSuffering: Or Haru...

NaoNya: Or Eriko

Minty: Where's Hibiki gone??? He keeps disappearing and reappearing...

DoIEvenExist: Oh, that's true... I hadn't noticed that until you mentioned it.

BunnyBoi: Sorry, Hinako's giving me dancing lessons

HeadphoneOverlord: Seriously?

IWantToDieChi: Yeah, it's true, I'm watching.

KickassPrincess: Ooh, that sounds fun!

BunnyBoi: It is

ThinkPositiveBitches: How's it going?

BunnyBoi: I have no idea what I'm doing.

DoIEvenExist: Mood

FluffyThiefBoi: Mood

NaoNya: Mood

DiscoNinjaFrog: Mood

Minty: Mood

BowlCutBitch: What kind of dance is she teaching you?

BunnyBoi: Traditional Japanese

FloralStar: The type with the fan?

BunnyBoi: That's the one.

Vroom: That sounds interesting.

IWantToDieChi: Well, I think it's going pretty well, I mean, this style of dance is Hinako's speciality

DoIEvenExist: So, you're learning from a professional?

BunnyBoi: Yup

IWantToDieChi sent a video

HeadphoneOverlord: Noah fence Hibiki, but you suck.

BunnyBoi: Thanks, bitch.

NaoNya: W

NaoNya: Why does the orange haired lady practically have her tits hanging out????

FluffyThiefBoi: That's Hinako

IWantToDieChi: She says that outfit is easier to maneuver around in.

BowlCutBitch: I suppose that makes sense?

DiscoNinjaFrog: I'm just gonna take the professional's word for it...

ThinkPositiveBitches: Hnnnnnnnggghhh woman hot

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: ^^^

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: And it seems the lesbian brain wins this round.

Minty: Who's tall, hot and sexy on the right there?

DevotedDeath: ^^^ The cutie in the beanie

ArtIsSuffering: That's Jungo Torii

IWantToDieChi: He's taken

Minty: Boo

BunnyBoi: Yup, by smol and tsundere on the left

DiscoNinjaFrog: They seem like a pretty cute couple.

IWantToDieChi: They are, although Jungo is the type of person who's always complimenting his friends, and Airi is the type who's violent when flustered and easily flustered

FluffyThiefBoi: She's tsundere extraordinaire

BowlCutBitch: Ah.

IWantToDieChi: She adores him, though, don't get me wrong. Jungo's actually the person she's softest with.

FluffyThiefBoi: Seriously, she's always gushing about how wonderful he is when he's not around to hear it

KickassPrincess: Awwwwwww

NaoNya: She doesn't look like the violent type...?

Vroom: Seriously, she seems quite cute

BunnyBoi: Yeah, don't be fooled by her looks

BunnyBoi: She may look small and precious like a rabbit

BunnyBoi: But, she can be as fiery and deadly as a dragon when she's angry and you do not wanna be on the receiving end of her anger. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if she put someone in the hospital.

BunnyBoi: Oh fuck.

DoIEvenExist: What's wrong?

BunnyBoi: She was walking behind Daichi when I sent that message, and she may have seen it...

IWantToDieChi: She did

DidjaSeeThatShinji: Uh oh.

BunnyBoi: She's glaring at me.

FloralStar: Oh...

IWantToDieChi: She took a step forward

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnime: Oooh...

BunnyBoi: SHIT

IWantToDieChi: SHE'S RUNNING TOWARDS HIBIKI

ArtIsSuffering: Oh my.

FluffyThiefBoi: Welp, Hibiki's screwed.

Minty: Tragic.

BunnyBoi: DAICHI SHABVE ME PLSEA

IWantToDieChi: Hibiki, I love you and I would do anything for you

IWantToDieChi: But, I am NOT messing with Airi...

HeadphoneOverlord: Smort

BunnyBoi: FUCKXY OUU

BunnyBoi: SOMBEDDOY SASVE MEA

BowlCutBitch: Wtf am I supposed to do??? I'm in Inaba and you're in Tokyo???

DoIEvenExist: Tbf, you DID kinda insult her...

NaoNya: Yeah, Hibiki, you should be drinking your respect women juice smh

BunnyBoi: SWHIO CARĒSS SOMNBODYH JUYST HELPP ME

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Nah

FloralStar: Nope

KickassPrincess: Nuh uh

Vroom: Perish

BunnyBoi: DSÄGJJJJFYCJJKIJJHIKHDEXWRFDJKJB HOBGUHÎGDYYFXYGFCFHUKC FCCDGGKNLH KL KJCJKJKHD HSJDDJKHF TUDẞDKHLLLJGVJD HÉJJ

HeadphoneOverlord: Rip my dude


	11. Social Interaction Is Not Worth The Anxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll for once in my life... Yeet.
> 
> Kay, I'm tired so I'm gonna go pass out now.

FluffyThiefBoi: Yo, guys

FluffyThiefBoi: Guess who I saw in Shibuya today

NaoNya: Whomst?

Vroom: Who'd you see?

BowlCutBitch: No idea

HeadphoneOverlord: Are we supposed to care?

ArtIsSuffering: I'd appreciate if you didn't talk to him like that.

FluffyThiefBoi: Square up, ya rude lil bitch

ArtIsSuffering: Then again, it seems he doesn't mind...

IWantToDieChi: I'm guessing someone from school?

FluffyThiefBoi: Nah, none of those would surprise me in the slightest

BunnyBoi: Translation - 'Those scrubs are boring'

DoIEvenExist: A relative?

FluffyThiefBoi: Oh god no, don't even suggest that.

DiscoNinjaFrog: Not on the best terms with your family?

FluffyThiefBoi: If you call, my parents not even noticing that I moved back to Tokyo, not being on the best terms, then no, I'm not on the best terms with my family.

DidjaSeeThatShinji: Oh.

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: Oh damn

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: J e s u s

DiscoNinjaFrog: Yu, we need to adopt him.

FloralStar: Back off, bitch. Tacchi and I called dibs.

DiscoNinjaFrog: We'll fight you for him.

FloralStar: Oho? Do you really think we'd back down from challenge?

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: Anyone else getting some 90's anime villain vibes from that 'oho'?

Minty: Kinda yeah

DevotedDeath: Of course, you were the one who brought that up.

KickassPrincess: But, how are you gonna settle who's Ren dads are gonna be?

NaoNya: Both Tatsuya and Yu fight with swords, right? Why don't they have a duel?

ArtIsSuffering: A sword fighting duel to determine the right to adopt Ren?

NaoNya: E x a c t l y

KickassPrincess: Oh, that sounds badass!

HeadphoneOverlord: @Vroom @BowlCutBitch what are your thoughts?

Vroom: Very well. Your death won't be quick.

BowlCutBitch: Bring it. Be prepared for a thunderstorm.

FluffyThiefBoi: Guys wtf

Minty: Oh shit, I forgot to ask

Minty: Hey Hibiki, how are you doing after being beaten up by little miss tiny?

KickassPrincess: Pfft

BunnyBoi: Everything hurts and I'm dying

IWantToDieChi: He's been such a drama queen ever since...

ThinkPostiveBitches: Yeah, yeah, no one cares, everyone shut up already

ThinkPositiveBitches: @FluffyThiefBoi who did you see in Shibuya?

FloralStar: And there goes her journalist instincts...

FluffyThiefBoi: Oh shit, yeah I forgot about that

DevotedDeath: Understandable after that sudden flood of insanity

DidjaSeeThatShinji: But, that's normal for this chat, isn't it?

DoIEvenExist: Yeah, I would've thought that you'd be used to it by now

FluffyThiefBoi: True...

FluffyThiefBoi: Anyway

FluffyThiefBoi: The person I saw was Kashima-senpai

ArtIsSuffering: I don't believe I'm familiar with that name...

DoIEvenExist: Neither am I

NaoNya: Kashima...

Vroom: That name does sound familiar...

BowlCutBitch: Yeah, where have I heard that before...?

KickassPrincess: Hmmmmmm

Minty: Oh!

Minty: Naoki Kashima!

Minty: Right?

Minty: The Demi-Fiend

Minty: Has those tattoos all over his body and a horn on the back of his neck that he tries and fails to hide

FluffyThiefBoi: Yeah, that's him!

HeadphoneOverlord: OH HIM

BowlCutBitch: YEAH I REMEMBER NOW

Vroom: Ohhhhhhh, that guy

BunnyBoi: I've only ever heard of him, I've never met him

DoIEvenExist: ^^^

ArtIsSuffering: He certainly sounds interesting

FluffyThiefBoi: Well, I don't really know, I've never really properly spoken with him

FluffyThiefBoi: If I'm being honest, I don't think he likes me...

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: How so?

FluffyThiefBoi: I dunno, it's just I've never seen him smile and whenever I say something to him, he never responds...

NaoNya: Well, I know that he's been through a lot, so that's probably why he doesn't smile much...

ThinkPositiveBitches: I've heard that he's never been very talkative

Minty: Omfg

Minty: Are you guys serious?

BowlCutBitch: What?

BunnyBoi: Whaddya mean?

Minty: He's mute, you moron

Minty: He CAN'T speak

FluffyThiefBoi: ...Oh

DidjaSeeThatShinji: Oh

IWantToDieChi: O h

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Ohhh

DevotedDeath: Well, this is awkward

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: How do you know so much about him?

Minty: Same console generation

DevotedDeath: What?

Minty: What?

DiscoNinjaFrog: Wouldn't Yu and I know about him with that logic?

KickassPrincess: Pfft 'Yu and I'

BowlCutBitch: Ha. Ha. You're the first person to ever make that joke.

FluffyThiefBoi: How does he communicate then?

Minty: Sign language mostly. He probably texts too.

FluffyThiefBoi: Welp, time to learn sign language

FloralStar: Really?

FluffyThiefBoi: Yeah, I really wanna befriend him, he seems kinda lonely...

ArtIsSuffering: You're too sweet for your own good, you know that?

FluffyThiefBoi: awjlyjgkgftjkhdrhk

DoIEvenExist: Do you think he should be added to the chat?

BowlCutBitch: That seems like a great idea!

FluffyThiefBoi: Yeah!

Minty: I'll ask him, see if he's interested

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Cool

BunnyBoi: Sounds great

FluffyThiefBoi: Thank you!!

DoIEvenExist: Hey guys, could I ask for some help?

HeadphoneOverlord: Sure thing

KickassPrincess: Shoot

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: Go ahead

DoIEvenExist: Okay, so I got a part time job at a bookstore and I have to talk to quite a few customers 'cause they have questions and I need to give recommendations and all that

DoIEvenExist: Problem is, talking to all these strangers terrifies me

DoIEvenExist: Any idea of how to fix this?

Vroom: I'm not good at talking to people, so I'm not much help

ArtIsSuffering: Not very many people can handle my eccentricities, so I doubt that I would be very helpful...

Minty: People suck and it's much better to stay in bed

NaoNya: Wow, aren't you a ray of sunshine

Minty: I only tolerate a few people

DevotedDeath: Including me?

Minty: Obviously you

DevotedDeath: <3

BowlCutBitch: Well, my best advice would be to smile and make yourself sound cheerful. And be polite, obviously.

DoIEvenExist: Okay... But, how am I supposed to deal with rude customers?

HeadphoneOverlord: Kill them

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: Noooo

DiscoNinjaFrog: Look, I work at Junes, so customer service is my main task...

DiscoNinjaFrog: You need to stay polite, even if the customer is an asshole. Trust me, that's been drilled into me 'cause my boss is my dad, so I'd get lectured at home...

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Wow, that sounds shitty

DiscoNinjaFrog: Y u p

DoIEvenExist: Okay, but what should I do when the rude customer is making me nervous and scaring me?

DiscoNinjaFrog: Go ask a coworker for help, and if you see a customer giving them trouble, go help them. Jackass customers are less likely to cause trouble when they're outnumbered.

FluffyThiefBoi: Kinda like shadows...

DiscoNinjaFrog: That's... actually kinda accurate.

BowlCutBitch: Well, I mean shadows are from the collective unconscious, sooooo

NaoNya: H u h

ThinkPositiveBitches: It's an interesting thing to think about

DoIEvenExist: Thanks for the advice, guys

BowlCutBitch: No problem

DiscoNinjaFrog: Glad to help

DoIEvenExist: I gotta go, my lunch break's over

DoIEvenExist: Bye guys

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Byyyeeee

Vroom: See you later

FloralStar: Good luck

FluffyThiefBoi: B y e~

Minty: Well, it seems we've lost yet another comrade to social interaction...

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: Everybody, press f to pay respects

NaoNya: f

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: f

KickassPrincess: f

DiscoNinjaFrog: f

HeadphoneOverlord: f

BunnyBoi: f

IWantToDieChi: f

FluffyThiefBoi: f

DidjaSeeThatShinji: I don't understand this meme and I'm too scared to ask at this point

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: But, you just memed though?

DidjaSeeThatShinji: That was a meme?

KickassPrincess: f

BunnyBoi: f

FluffyThiefBoi: f

HeadphoneOverlord: f

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: f

IWantToDieChi: f

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: f

DidjaSeeThatShinji: W h y


	12. All Nighters, Lesbians and Some Cursed Bullshit

FluffyThiefBoi: Hey guys

FluffyThiefBoi: Uh random question

FluffyThiefBoi: Any ideas how to pass the time while thirdwheeling with a couple of lesbians???

HeadphoneOverlord: What?

BowlCutBitch: Nope, but if someone has the answer

BowlCutBitch: Pls tell me too

DiscoNinjaFrog: My advice would be don't say anything that could lead to one of them practising kung fu on you and ultimately bruising your ribs

FloralStar: That's oddly specific????

NaoNya: Speaking from experience?

DiscoNinjaFrog: Possibly

IWantToDieChi: Why do you ask?

ThinkPositiveBitches: What's going on?

FluffyThiefBoi: I'm hanging out with Ann and Shiho. Ryuji was meant to come too but he cancelled at the last minute, said he had to help his mum with something.

FluffyThiefBoi: Sooooooooo yeah

FluffyThiefBoi: Here I am

FluffyThiefBoi: Tagging along with two deeply in love lesbians

FluffyThiefBoi: Looking pathetic and lonely

DoIEvenExist: Rip my dude

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: FWDASJJKLKKFFDDJJD

KickassPrincess: D

KickassPrincess: Did Shin just?????

Vroom: Yes. Yes he did.

DevotedDeath: Wow!

DidjaSeeThatShinji: Since when are you so sassy?

DoIEvenExist: Since I'm running off of two hours of sleep and five cups of coffee

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: Yeah, that would probably do it

BunnyBoi: You doing okay?

DoIEvenExist: I can smell colours

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: I'll take that as a 'no'

FloralStar: Why on earth were you awake that long?

DoIEvenExist: Takuro and I forgot about our science protect and had to pull an all nighter to do all of it

Minty: Why didn't you just sleep in?

DoIEvenExist: Got shit to do today

BowlCutBitch: You gonna be okay?

DoIEvenExist: I yearn for death

FluffyThiefBoi: Oh mood

Minty: Mood

Vroom: Mood

IWantToDieChi: Big same

NaoNya: Y'all need therapy

FloralStar: Probably

DidjaSeeThatShinji: Most likely

NaoNya: And Shin, you need some sleep

DoIEvenExist: I'll pass out when I finish everything I need to do

NaoNya:

NaoNya: Good enough

ArtIsSuffering: My apologies, I've only just had a chance to read through the chat

ArtIsSuffering: Ren, I've got to hand in a few pieces to my art teacher, but would you like me to meet up with you afterwards?

FluffyThiefBoi: That'd be great, thanks babe

ArtIsSuffering: Whereabouts are you?

FluffyThiefBoi: Central Street

FluffyThiefBoi sent an image

KickassPrincess: Awwwwwww!!! Those two look so cute!!!

ThinkPositiveBitches: How precious!!

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: They look so in love!

FluffyThiefBoi: They are

FluffyThiefBoi: To the point that they've forgotten I'm here

BowlCutBitch: Been there

Minty: ^^^

FluffyThiefBoi: They're getting crepes now

DevotedDeath: Oh nice

FluffyThiefBoi: I hate crepes

KickassPrincess: What the fuck is wrong with you?!

BunnyBoi: Crepes are delicious!!!

FluffyThiefBoi: Crepes are way too sweet and they make me feel sick

HeadphoneOverlord: Coward

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: You do realise that there's savoury crepes, right?

FluffyThiefBoi:

FluffyThiefBoi: What?

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: There's what?

NaoNya: Yeah, you can get savoury crepes

BowlCutBitch: First I've ever heard of it

DiscoNinjaFrog: Really? We sold them at Junes before

BowlCutBitch: ???

FloralStar: Speaking of food, Shin have you had breakfast yet?

DoIEvenExist: Eggs on toast

FloralStar: Okay, that's good

FloralStar: Have you eaten anything else since then?

DoIEvenExist: Fuckin uhhh, ,,,,

DoIEvenExist: BEaN juciE

Minty:

ThinkPositiveBitches:

Vroom: Go get something to eat

DoIEvenExist: o,KAy

HeadphoneOverlord: He's delirious...

DidjaSeeThatShinji: I hope he doesn't pass out in the street...

Flamenco&Fistcuffs: We can only hope...

FluffyThiefBoi sent an image

FluffyThiefBoi: Help

NaoNya: Omfg that reminds of that picture of that couple kissing and that girl downing a bottle of vodka

IWantToDieChi: Just replace the vodka with a crepe

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: How's the crepe?

FluffyThiefBoi: Actually really good

FluffyThiefBoi: I like it

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: You're welcome

ArtIsSuffering: Ren, I'm on the train. Should be there in about five minutes.

FluffyThiefBoi: Oh thank god.

FluffyThiefBoi: Wait, I swear I just saw fucking Ryuji

FluffyThiefBoi: w

FluffyThiefBoi: h

HeadphoneOverlord: Everything okay?

FluffyThiefBoi: I swear that's him

FluffyThiefBoi: What's his mum...?

FluffyThiefBoi: Hang on, I'm gonna text him real quick

DevotedDeath: There he go

DiscoNinjaFrog: That's slightly worrying...

Vroom: That sounded a little strange.

NaoNya: Damn, he's been gone for a while

BunnyBoi: Is everything okay????

FluffyThiefBoi: Sorry, I'm back

BowlCutBitch: Is he okay?

FluffyThiefBoi: Yeah

KickassPrincess: What happened?

Minty: Yeah, you sounded kinda freaked out

FluffyThiefBoi: Less freaked out, more confused

FluffyThiefBoi: Turns out his mum slipped down the stairs this morning and fractured her wrist, so he took her to get it checked out

HeadphoneOverlord: Oh damn

FloralStar: Is she okay?

FluffyThiefBoi: Well, she's wearing a cast and they've got some painkillers, so I'm sure she'll be fine now

FluffyThiefBoi: So, yeah, I can excuse his abandonment this time.

NaoNya: What a good boy

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: The goodest of boys

DevotedDeath: That's so sweet of him

Vroom: Is he able to join you now?

FluffyThiefBoi: No, he's taking his mum home and he's gonna watch over her

ArtIsSuffering: I recall him saying that she tended to overwork herself

IWantToDieChi: Ah, so he's watching her so she doesn't do that shit

FluffyThiefBoi: Basically

BunnyBoi: Understandable, have a nice day.

ArtIsSuffering: On a different note, I'm here

FluffyThiefBoi: Oh thank god

ArtIsSuffering: Where are you now?

FluffyThiefBoi: Sat by Buchiko

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Yet another good boy

HeadphoneOverlord: Hell yeh

DidjaSeeThatShinji: You know who else is a good boy?

Vroom: Who?

BowlCutBitch: ???

DiscoNinjaFrog: Whomst?

DidjaSeeThatShinji: Koromaru

KickassPrincess: YES

DevotedDeath: Precious lil pupper

Minty: Best of the fluffy boys

BowlCutBitch: Cats are better

Minty: Go fuck yourself

FluffyThiefBoi sent an image

FluffyThiefBoi: Reinforcements have arrived

ThinkPositiveBitches: By 'reinforcements' do you mean 'my boyfriend so I no longer look like a lonely boy being dragged around by his friends'?

FluffyThiefBoi:

FluffyThiefBoi: Yes.

ArtIsSuffering: I must say, this savoury crepe is quite delicious

NaoNya: Ooooooh, sharing food now are we????

ArtIsSuffering: Yes.

DiscoNinjaFrog: That's gay

FluffyThiefBoi: You're gay

DiscoNinjaFrog: You got me there

FluffyThiefBoi: Wait hang on

ArtIsSuffering: Whxzds

FloralStar: Now what?

IWantToDieChi: Is anyone else shocked that Yusuke just keysmashed???

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: Yeah

DidjaSeeThatShinji: Kinda

HeadphoneOverlord: Not really

BunnyBoi: Why not?

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: 'Cause he's gay

NaoNya: CSĀDMGHŶTRHGJFKHJFCTYCYD

HeadphoneOverlord: Point proven

IWantToDieChi: Fair enough

FluffyThiefBoi: K, so

FluffyThiefBoi: Turns out Ann and Shiho noticed me on my phone... A lot.

ArtIsSuffering: They're rather curious about this chat

FluffyThiefBoi: Can they join???

KickassPrincess: PLEASE

KickassPrincess: WE NEED MORE GIRLS

ThinkPositiveBitches: We need more lesbians!

BowlCutBitch: saddjkjjrh

Vroom: Oh my god...

Minty: Maya pls

NaoNya: Go ahead

NaoNya: Let 'em in

ArtIsSuffering: Wonderful

FluffyThiefBoi has added Ann Takamaki to the chat

Ann: Heyyyyy!!

ThinkPositiveBitches: HELLO FELLOW LESBIAN

Flamenco&Fisticuffs: DẞÐJFJJJJDTRXHJJH

Ann: HIIIII

Vroom: Oh boy...

DiscoNinjaFrog: You sure that's what you want the first thing you say to her to be???

ThinkPositiveBitches: Yes

DiscoNinjaFrog: Well okay then

Ann has changed her nickname to PinkPanther

BunnyBoi: SXAGSGFGFENJGGRFKJKYKCYYKK

Minty: Do do

PinkPanther: Do do

NaoNya: Da do da do da do

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: Da do da dOOOOOOOOOOOOO

FluffyThiefBoi: Ann why

PinkPanther: Deal with it

FluffyThiefBoi has added Shiho Suzui to the chat

Shiho has changed her nickname to ShihOWO

DevotedDeath: My god, that's cursed

IHaveThePowerOfGodAndAnimeOnMySide: N i c e

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: I love it

NaoNya: !!!!!!!!!!!

NaoNya: H

Vroom: Don't you fucking dare

NaoNya: H E W W O!!!!!!!!!

ShihOWO: HEWWOWO!!!!!!!

NaoNya: OWO

ShihOWO: OWO

FluffyThiefBoi: I regret all my life choices

PinkPanther: Oh would you look at that

PinkPanther: I'm suddenly single again

ShihOWO: Wait no

ShihOWO: Ann I'm sowwy

PinkPanther:

ShihOWO: I'm sorry

PinkPanther: There we go

KickassPrincess: These two are some quality useless lesbians

PinkPanther: That we are

ShihOWO: Is it that obvious?

Minty: Yes

ShihOWO: Perfect

DoIEvenExist: lesbean juice

PinkPanther: Fucking what?

BunnyBoi: RDẞDJYRUTXHFKIYCJHJKFTCRFKÛHCR

ShihOWO: You good binch???

FluffyThiefBoi: Wtf

FloralStar: Shin?

IWantToDieChi: You good buddy???

BowlCutBitch: You there?

DidjaSeeThatShinji: ...Shin?

ArtIsSuffering: Are you alright?

PinkPanther: Who is this? And is he okay?

FluffyThiefBoi: Scroll up, you'll understand

PinkPanther: 'Kay then

PinkPanther: Yeah, that explains a lot

ShihOWO: f

DiscoNinjaFrog: Ren, from the way you described her, Shiho sounded like a delicate little flower who was sweet and innocent

DiscoNinjaFrog: Turns out, she's just a huge memer

ShihOWO: Gotta meme to mask the pain of existence

DiscoNinjaFrog: Wh

DidjaSeeThatShinji: I'm sorry... What?

Minty: Mood

HeadphoneOverlord: You good bitch?

ShihOWO: :3c

FluffyThiefBoi: Shiho ain't delicate

FluffyThiefBoi: She could easily kick my ass

ArtIsSuffering: She has

FluffyThiefBoi:

ShihOWO: That was fun

FluffyThiefBoi:

PinkPanther: Rip in piss my dude

DoIEvenExist: Hello?

BowlCutBitch: Shin? You doing okay?

NaoNya: Care to explain your last message???

DoIEvenExist: This is Jun, Shin's little brother

Minty: Oh

FloralStar: Hello!

Vroom: Is everything alright?

DoIEvenExist: Yeah, I just wanted to let you know that Shin's asleep

ThinkPositiveBitches: Oh that's good to hear

HeadphoneOverlord: Seriously?

DoIEvenExist: Yeah, he literally just fell through the front door, dragged himself up the stairs, typed something on his phone and then passed out on his bedroom floor.

YallDontKnowAboutMyKnifeStick: W o w

DevotedDeath: Is he okay?

DoIEvenExist: Yeah, I've moved him onto his bed and I'll make him some food when he wakes up.

PinkPanther: Good idea

ShihOWO: Although, from the sounds of it, he might be out of it for most of the day

DoIEvenExist: Probably

DoIEvenExist: Btw, you mentioned his last message???

NaoNya: That I did

DoIEvenExist: What did he say?

KickassPrincess: 'lesbean juice'

DoIEvenExist: ...Okay???

Minty: Yeh

DoIEvenExist: I think I won't let him drink any coffee for a while...

PinkPanther: That's probably for the best, yes.

DoIEvenExist: Well, that's all I wanted to say. Goodbye.

FloralStar: Bye!

Vroom: Thanks for the info

BowlCutBitch: Byee

NaoNya: Bye, tiny child!!!

FluffyThiefBoi: What a sweet kid

BunnyBoi: Ikr???

PinkPanther: Hey Ren, can we go back to Leblanc?

ArtIsSuffering: I'd quite like some curry...

ShihOWO: I require lesbean juice

FluffyThiefBoi: W h y

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life's been kinda sucky, so I cope by writing shitty gay memes.
> 
> OwO


End file.
